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Trump fundraising emails are mostly this kind of pathetic fanfic in which the President of the United States is wanting to know where YOUR name was this month because he saw that YOU are STILL MISSING after reviewing each name of every Patriot. etc. etc.

Does this shit... work
Also the marketing concept at work here of just straight-up lying in such a dumbass way that they know that you know that they are just making up an entertaining story that will only somehow endear the recipient more to the candidate--well, it's all very on brand, isn't it
As if that weren't bad enough now I'm considering the not-statistically-insignificant portion of the recipient list which will *actually believe what they are reading without reservation,* and the strong likelihood that this strategy is purposely targeting them
Matt, I just ran into Joe! He grabbed me by the shoulders & pulled me close & said

"Jack you know I know my donors better than Buffalo Bob Smith knew Howdy Dowdy's bunghole & I gotta ask you where was Matt, I was just telling my friend Barack that kid's going places" etc etc
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