Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

Things I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. After an emergency caucus meeting, to consider Derek Sloan's future in the party, the CPC announces new official hashtag is #sorrynotsorry
2. MacKay and O'Toole thumb wrestle to see who gets the 'Rustic' demographic of the CPC base.

3. Kenney says Alberta's done a great job flattening the curve but suggests everyone avoid consuming processed meats for foreseeable future.
4. Doug starts sporting a Trump-like flight jacket at press conferences. Insiders say he insists on being called 'Iceman' from hereon in.

5. Shandro says he admires and respects doctors so much he wants to shout it from the rooftops. Or from their driveways, waving a fist.
6. MacKay says Feds politicizing Nova Scotia tragedy with new gun legislation. Says government belongs in people's bedrooms not their gun racks.

7. Doug says essential construction to begin again in Ontario. Toronto's condo developers stop work for 5 minutes to pretend they ever stopped. Doug winks back.
8. O'Toole invites Derek Sloan's supporters over for a Taking Canada Back Ribs Barbecue
9. April, we hardly knew ye.

10. CPC MP Scott Reid outraged by the CPC's internal backstabbing. Says the party must focus on negatively impacting the country, not the party.
11. Scheer appears to think the closer you sit to your Zoom webcam the more "outraged!" you appear #MrPotatoHead
12. Lisa Raitt who?

13. Trudeau announces cross-country Snowbirds tour and Manitoba opens hair salons. Andrew books Snowbird flights for entire family for the Ottawa/Winnipeg leg of the tour.
14. Doug insists students shouldn't return yet to "crowded classrooms." That's it. That's the funny part.

15. Dozens of angry, heavily-armed white men storm Michigan's capitol building after their moms insist they get out of the basement, get some fresh air and make some friends.
16. CPC insist Canadians need their gun rights but students must definitely be working during a pandemic.

17. Matt Wolf insists Fort Mac flooding only affecting people. The tailing ponds are doing okay.
18. Kenney says Fort Mac flooding is the worst in Alberta's history since he arrived in 1997.
19. MacKay issues libel notice against Post Millennial. Says they're doing it wrong.

20. Virtual HoC hacked by Zoom Bomber. It's quickly determined all the on-screen profanity and interruptions are in fact Michelle Rempel.
21. CPC insists 80% of Canadians have no constitutional right to not own semi-automatic weapons.
22. Trump "has not killed a lot of people."

23. Rempel says travel to the US during pandemic was for personal emergency, but happy to report she's now located the TV remote for her husband.
24. Canadian gun "hobbyists" demand Feds restrict other "sporting equipment" like golf clubs and bocce balls.