Thread by @StillDelvingH

I promised it: Here it is.
CUKRU™℠®©℗ is opening its virtual doors tonight.
Exposing the new lockdown rules starting Wednesday.
Based on what govt said *in writing*
(Not the 60-pages "Well we wish but what so there" document -the actual guidance 👇)
gov.uk/government/pub…

https://twitter.com/StillDelvingH/status/1259576113799585793

(Take a seat).
To get you motivated to learn, we will start with the fines.
You'd better get well organised so you don't accidentally run into two different people you know in the park -or come up with a secret sign to inform the second person you're already meeting one someone.

Altho -Guidance says the police must inforce *the law*, and the law here is all about self-isolation when sick or coming back from an infected area -which makes sense as it's from February 10th.
No mention of meeting your aunt AND your uncle in the park
legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/129/…

I feel thus confident to say that the law the police has to enforce re: the new lockdown rules simply doesn't exist (yet?) -according to govt guidance.
Unless you're breaking February 10th law there should be no fine. (@BarristerSecret @davidallengreen does it mean what is says?)

Anyway. Back to the rules that are not enshrined in the law (or maybe they are but govt's guidance has no idea) that you are to follow shall you manage to understand what they are exactly.
Effective Wednesday, so if dont #StayAtHome tomorrow you're breaking the rules.

Let's start with a handy list of what you can and can't do.
(You really need to tell your aunt and uncle they can't go outside together where you might run into them while playing golf or enjoying fresh air, as that's meeting more than one person = breaking the rules.)

So yes, you can meet other people -but OUTSIDE.
And just one at a time.
Yes, in the meanwhile, you may stand 2-meters away from a five-unknown-people household: That's allowed.
But your aunt + your uncle?
Breaking the rules.

Now that this is clarified, we move on to sport.
To sum up:
-Yes, Donald, your golf can reopen.
-You can play tennis or basket-ball with your household OR one people you don't live with (as the virus can't land on balls, I guess?)
-Don't use the toilets.
-Isolated means isolated.

Back to park pickle.
You can stand next (well, two meters away) to a big household, but not meet (still two meters away) two people you know at the same time.
Clear?
Guess you're supposed to turn your back to the big household and their droplets. If you're surrounded, leave.

You can go wherever you want (as long as it's not in Wales). Just only with your household or 10 meters away from your cyclist friend. Note that "outdoor open space" doesn't necessarily mean beauty spot. Not sure your mum's street qualifies though. No mention of the minimum size

So I can't tell you for certain if you're allowed to drive two hours to stand in the middle of the street to talk to your mum standing two meters away from you.
(Pretty sure garden is off limit tho as it's considered a private property, and you're not allowed to enter that.)

Moving on.
If you have a kid locked inside a hall you can get him/her back -permanently
(But what if schools reopen? Coming to that later)
Same as before for funerals, hope for hopes for wedding.
No mention of conga or street parties, but what came before clearly spells as NO WAY

So if you are alert and control the virus and follow the rules there's no reason you shouldn't be fine, except if you're 70 years old and over, in which case you should be careful to respect the rules everyone should respect and everyone should too.
Well that's helpful.

Shielding means shielding.
"We know exactly what needs to be done in care home in line with the latest scientific evidence."
(Someone may want to tell the govt "the latest scientific evidence" is: "Promises are nice to hear but useless, implementing them is what's needed".)

OK, here comes the part many people care the most about I guess.
Work.
So: You should get back to work if you work in 'and so on'.
Basically, unless you work in a business that is currently closed, and/or are sick, vulnerable or shielded, you are requested to get back to work.

But NO WORRY people it is all planned, govt will ensure 'businesses have time to prepare their premises' according to the very specific instructions that are not there yet.
(How many went back to work yesterday?)

When will the safety guidelines be ready?
Well here they say they 'have to set them out'.
In 3.1 they said 'in the coming days'.
In the meanwhile rules that do not exist yet come into force on Wednesday, which surely will let your business enough time to prepare their premises.

So to sum up: Unless your business is closed/you work at home, you are expected to get back to work, with none of the critical workers' advantages (childcare, hotel accommodation services to shield their families) -but you have the right to travel, possibly in unsafe conditions.

"We can't make masks compulsory as, if we did that, we would have to provide at least some. Call the NHS or a care home to know how well we're doing with that."
They are literally telling you to make your own mask if limiting the virus spread is "your choice".
(Science's choice!)

Now here is something interesting:
"My employer is asking me to come to work but I’m scared."
You're on your own, pal.
It's all "should" everywhere, not even one "must".
And consider your employer is willing to discuss/agree.
(+A reminder the safety guidance is not ready yet.)

"But what if they try to fire me?"
"Blah blah, pragmatic agreement"

Schools and childcare now:
"Prepare to be ready."

"Now all people coming into the UK have to be quarantined!"
Meaning:
"Well that will happen at one point not sure when".

Quick note:
If you live in Scotland, Wales or NI, you can disregard this whole thread and just #StayAtHomeStaySafeSaveLives
End of the story.

The "Covid 19 UK Rules University™℠®©℗" has just renamed itself "KafkUK" -Seemed more fitting than the actual initials given the situation.
Next time we'll take a look at the safety guidelines to be issued after businesses have been given enough time to prepare acc. to them.

And probably after that we'll discuss how allowing too many people back to work is the reason schools can't reopen.
Don't be eager for "more (wanted) social contact", that's not happening any time soon (too much unwanted, economically "beneficial" social contact).

So in order to help this shambolic govt, English people, here is an advice for you.
It is science-based
It is good for your business that has no way to follow the rules it doesn't know yet &will have to close if people get infected
Pragmatic -as requested

https://twitter.com/StillDelvingH/status/1259813830240227328?s=20