Earlier, I made a thread about how patriarchy impacts women. And how it is systemic, shocking & repetitive.
I also want to talk about how patriarchy affects young men, leading to male aggression online, based on my understanding from the #YuvaaRoadshow.
#Thread #boyslockerroom
I also want to talk about how patriarchy affects young men, leading to male aggression online, based on my understanding from the #YuvaaRoadshow.
#Thread #boyslockerroom
I met 10,000+ students in 100+ colleges on the roadshow over 2 years. We tried creating safe spaces to listen & to understand their mental health & identity issues. We found:
1. The top issue for young women is harassment/body shaming.
2. The top one for young men is loneliness.
1. The top issue for young women is harassment/body shaming.
2. The top one for young men is loneliness.
It was disturbing to hear the volume of stories about assault, shaming, & colourism from young women who spoke up, sometimes in classrooms full of students.
At the same time, most of them also spoke about acceptance from their female friends & being hyped by their 'girl tribes'.
At the same time, most of them also spoke about acceptance from their female friends & being hyped by their 'girl tribes'.
Young men, on the other hand, would publicly only speak up about friendship, love, family, and mental health only with respect to exams and academic pressure.
But privately, or in smaller groups, would open up about being lonely, and even about facing sexual assault themselves.
But privately, or in smaller groups, would open up about being lonely, and even about facing sexual assault themselves.
Most of these young men would admit that this is the first time they have opened up. Some would break down. Some, and this would break my heart, would ask for a hug, because - and I've heard this repeatedly - they never got a hug or were even told 'I love you' by their parents.
When I'd ask them why they wouldn't talk about their feelings to their friends or families, the response was: a fear of judgement.
That if I told my boys gang, they'd think I'm 'a girl' (sigh).
Or how my father (or mother) taught me to be strong, 'manly' and 'get on with it'.
That if I told my boys gang, they'd think I'm 'a girl' (sigh).
Or how my father (or mother) taught me to be strong, 'manly' and 'get on with it'.
Some boys have told me how peer pressure keeps them from expressing: when one objected to eve-teasing girls, his male friends group snubbed him; when another cried in front of his girlfriend, she said he wasn't 'man enough'.
This leads some to feeling lonely, victimised & angry.
This leads some to feeling lonely, victimised & angry.
This anger sadly, thanks to patriarchy, is directed at women, because in homes, at work, in society/culture, they see women shown as less equal to men.
And so, when women speak up, they get pissed. Because how dare women stand united, when 'I' don't have anywhere to belong to?
And so, when women speak up, they get pissed. Because how dare women stand united, when 'I' don't have anywhere to belong to?
They don't realise their anger should be against patriarchy, not feminism:
Patriarchy burdens them with 'being a man'
Patriarchy asks them to be 'breadwinners' of the family
Patriarchy tells them to not express what they are going through
Patriarchy boxes them in gendered roles!
Patriarchy burdens them with 'being a man'
Patriarchy asks them to be 'breadwinners' of the family
Patriarchy tells them to not express what they are going through
Patriarchy boxes them in gendered roles!
So, where girls now have an empowering movement in feminism, some boys join anti-women/far-right movements: to feel less lonely.
As a society, we MUST find a way to help boys understand: if they unite with young women against patriarchy, they won't have to be burdened by it too.
As a society, we MUST find a way to help boys understand: if they unite with young women against patriarchy, they won't have to be burdened by it too.
#EndThread
(Received a LOT of hate from young men on my last thread.. this hopefully will help them understand where their own anger stems from.
To them: I understand you are lonely, but if you want to belong to something, find a positive masculinity movement, not a toxic one)
(Received a LOT of hate from young men on my last thread.. this hopefully will help them understand where their own anger stems from.
To them: I understand you are lonely, but if you want to belong to something, find a positive masculinity movement, not a toxic one)
My previous thread for context:
