Alright #MedTwitter for my followers who are allies to that black community, I must inform you that the #CentralParkKaren incident occurs for most black men in every aspect of their life. This includes medicine, except instead of the police it’s “administration”. 1/x
Every time I’m asked to give feedback I have to choose my words very carefully. Because the minute I say something the other person doesn’t like, there’s a very likely chance the situation will escalate and result in me being reported. 2/x
Even if I am absolutely correct. Even if I was explicitly asked for feedback. Even if I’ve had a smile on my face the entire conversation. Even if I have endorsed my willingness to discuss the topic further. 2/x
And my favorite experience, even if everyone else agrees that I am correct and states that they had the exact same thoughts. 3/x
And don’t get me wrong there are definitely instances in which people may give unwarranted, unwelcome, and unnecessarily nasty feedback. But I am referring to the instances in which that is not the case. 4/x
So yes I walk around life, especially medical school, with a “warm, welcoming, happy” demeanor. At all times. 5/x
Even when I’m suffering from losses myself, even when I’m absolutely unhappy in a situation, even when I am the “victim” during (victim in quotes because that’s something i’m never allowed to be). 6/x
This “bubbly” personality, while at this point absolutely genuine, did not come out of nowhere and was not by choice. It’s a necessary survival mechanism. 7/x
One thing that absolutely floored me during rotations was seeing how some of my other colleagues were allowed to speak so freely and carelessly with little to no afterthought, let alone reprimand. I could never. 8/x
Now go back. And read each previous tweet in the plural. Because it is not an “I” but a “we”. 9/x
Look at all of the black men you know in medicine....and ask yourself, when are they allowed to just be people. Why do they always have to be the “likeable, easy to get along with, always friendly” person. It’s because there’s very little, if any, grace allowed for us. 10/x
It rarely occurs, and definitely not while we’re in the early stages of our training and careers. 11/x
Don’t get me wrong #BlackMenInMedicine will forever be an amazing, kind, caring cohort. But understand that we don’t have any other choice. We’re not allowed the same depth and breadth of emotions and vulnerabilities as many of our other counterparts. 12/x
