Not all abusers who #coercivecontrol are #narcissists but a significant number are, so it’s useful to understand not only what narcissism is, but also that it falls on a continuum.
Many personality psychologists believe that there are five core personality traits. These are often referred to as the "Big 5" personality traits:
- extroversion
- agreeableness
- openness
- conscientiousness
- neuroticism
Being on the extremes of any of these traits is not healthy.
Benign narcissists have milder versions of the patterns observed in #narcissism:
- Entitlement
- Low levels of empathy
- Arrogance
- Superficiality
- validation seeking
- overly sensitive to criticism
They are attractive - the ‘ life and soul of the party’ - they love attention, are extroverts and addicted to ‘ likes’ and selfies on social media but are not as disregulated as other narcissists.
The benign #narcissist can be very immature which, over time, can be tiresome.
They are the *fun* parent but still put their needs above their child and aren’t up for the less than fun parenting like boundary setting.
For more:
by @DoctorRamani
The Covert Narcissist
These are the victimised, vulnerable, anxious, socially less skilled, sullen, resentful narcissists who can also exhibit hostility.
They are still entitled, arrogant, validation-seeking but it looks and feels different when you’re in their presence.
They think they know more than the experts and will criticise people who attempt something. They sit at home waiting for opportunity to magically show up.
For more:
Neglectful Narcissists
Narcissists that are detached, barely respond and have little or no interest in you.
Their lack of empathy will show as an utter lack of regard for you.
They stopped noticing you a long time ago.
They may not be doing this with everybody and this is what makes it hurt more.
More here:
Communal Narcissists
They get their validation from doing things for other people, or for causes and organisations and drawing a lot of self-serving attention to it.
If the validation doesn’t come, they won’t be pleased and may very well take it out on the people close to them.
This could be taking it out on their partner or children if they did not get enough validation for their do-gooding.
Essentially they make sure that their do-gooding makes them look good too.
For more:
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First and foremost, a climate where bullies are rewarded.
When they’re not held to account but rewarded with getting their own way because others are too scared to confront them, that is the perfect Petri dish for #coercivecontrol
Different rules for different people.
Making allowances for, or ignoring bullying/inappropriate/abusive behaviours of people we like or admire.
Holding them to a lower standard because they’re family, or a celebrity, or wealthy, or we benefit in some way from looking away.
I detest the term *parental alienation* with a passion and now I won’t use it.
It used to be called ‘Threat Therapy’.
A🧵
I’ve been told, frequently, that not all perpetrators are men, that mums get *alienated* too and that denying the existence of PA means denying that abusers DO and WILL maliciously sever a relationship between parent and child.
And yes, all of the above IS true.
But refusing to use that term is NOT the same as denying that this happens.
So, for avoidance of doubt, here is why I believe the term *parental alienation* should not be used:
Adolf Eichmann was aided by a Franciscan monk who helped him obtain an Argentine visa and who signed an application for a falsified Red Cross passport.
Eichmann masterminded the Nazi network of death camps that resulted in the murder of approximately 6 million Jews.
Josef Mengele fled to Argentina with the help of a Catholic clergy member.
Nicknamed the “Angel of Death” he conducted experiments at Auschwitz particularly on twins, pregnant women and the disabled. Mengele even tortured and killed children with his medical experiments.
“On one occasion, she said, male officers taped her phone to the ceiling, telling her: “We’re gonna watch your arse when you climb on the table.””
How a dead officer’s iPhone exposes misogyny, corruption and racism in a police force
🧵
Ricky Jones, a retired police officer knew where many of Gwent police’s skeletons were buried, but it wasn’t until his death that his own began to emerge.
In 2020, he jumped to his death from a bridge.
He left behind his wife and three daughters.
To the outside world Jones was a respected former copper and family man. But behind closed doors he subjected his family to decades of #domesticabuse.