Some #StarTrek thoughts today because even though they heavy-handedly mess up a lot of their allegories, it's still a go-to for my mind's happy place. As always, I'm no expert, just someone running their mouth on the internet who has a little time right now. (1/12)
I think about TOS Spock's conversation with Kelvin Kirk after Kelvin Spock threw him off the ship. "Jim, I just lost my planet. I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised." (2/12)
In this "time of #Coronavirus," I don't have the benefit of being Vulcan, but it is still hard for me to let myself show how fucked up I feel a lot of the time and trying to suppress that has pushed me to the breaking point more than once. (3/12)
So I am trying to be less hard on myself, and you should not be hard on yourself. We say it a lot, but it's OK to not be OK. No one can be expected to function at 100% capacity during a pandemic for which we were woefully unprepared. (4/12)
I think about the TNG episode "Man of the People" where Ves Alkar befriends and then uses Deanna Troi, funneling all of his negative emotions, his psychic waste, into her. (5/12)
Consider the people who you usually look to for support right now, especially those who are affected by events going on around us. Venting is good and healthy, but take care that you're not also asking them to take up being angry on your behalf. It will burn them out. (6/12)
And in the past few days, I think about Discovery's Commander Saru, a Kelpien whose species is "born afraid". They can "sense the coming of death". They are hyper-vigilant to be aware of dangerous situations. (7/12)
It is not lost on me, Star Trek's intent or not, that Saru's threat ganglia reacted to Michael Burnham, a Black woman, a LOT. It is also interesting that, when that constant state of fear was removed, he reacted differently, willing to do anything to keep it. (8/12)
And later his fellow crew members reacted very differently, wondering if it was a "good" thing. Suddenly questioning if the state of fearlessness and confidence they'd been used to their entire lives was OK for someone else to now experience. (9/12)
The parallels pretty much write themselves. I would love to know what it's like to actually feel "free" all the time. (10/12)
To never worry that a situation is going to turn dangerous. To not think that an idle conversation is going to become abusive. To not feel the prickling at my skin of microaggressions in my day-to-day life. I really would. (11/12)
I have to get back to work now, but today I am definitely doing the digital equivalent of shuffling papers. It's not going to be a productive day for me. But hey, drink water, take your meds, have a plan for meals today, and don't be hard on yourselves. #fin (12/12)
