Thread by @TheSirDax

Let's talk about... Age gaps

As always: this is my opinion, yours may vary, there are no central rules in BDSM, and who let the dogs out.

This was a requested topic; if you have a suggestion for a LTA thread, submit it here:
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If you haven't read my bio, I'm 46, so I'm writing this as an older guy. Yet the average age of my clients is around 20 years younger. That’s not unusual in BDSM- you’ll often see younger subs with (or looking for) older Doms, regardless of gender, so let’s take a closer look.

I’m NOT going to say “age gap bad” or “age gap good”. We’re all adults (right?😡), so this is just a “Pros and Cons” thing. On that note, I’m looking at this for kinky play partners, not a relationship.
These apply to all genders and dynamics, not just D/s or male Dom/female sub.

Pros to an older Dom:
Pro 1: An older, more experienced Dom, may know more techniques/skills/ideas than a younger Dom.

Pro 2: An older, more experienced Dom may have “seen it all” which means they’re unlikely to judge your kinks or fetishes or make you feel awkward.

Pro 3: An older, more experienced Dom is probably going to be more confident, which will help a younger sub feel more relaxed and comfortable.

Pro 4: An older, more experienced Dom will hopefully have a better grasp of things like aftercare, safety, protocol etc

Pro 5: Plenty of people have a fantasy of submitting to an older Dominant😉

Pro 6: An older, more experienced Dom may have plenty to teach a younger sub

Cons to an older Dom:
Con 1: They may have different views on some kink things - e.g. the “leather” scene is more formal than a lot of “modern” kink.

Con 2: An older Dom might expect too much from a younger, inexperienced sub, and may push them to do more than they’re ready for.

Con 3: outside of BDSM you may have very different interests, so the age gap may be more obvious and non-kinky folk may be judgemental.

Con 4: older doesn’t necessarily mean more experience, and if they’re also new they may be reluctant to be told what to do by someone younger.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for old D/young s. And honestly, they could equally apply to older s and younger D.

I haven’t mentioned the risk of older players potentially being creepy predators; it IS a risk, but I would hope you’ll follow my vetting and safety guidelines which can be found here:
threadreaderapp.com/user/TheSirDax

In terms of similar age players:
Pro 1: more likely to have similar levels of experience, so you can learn together
Pro 2: no-one will care, kinky or not
Pro 3: easier potential for relationship outside kink

Con 1: similar levels of experience might mean less knowledge and/or confidence
Con 2: can’t think of a second…

BTW I don’t care what age a client is, as long as they’re over 18.

So to sum up:
- In the kinky world, age gaps between players are common and almost no-one will judge you.
- Do your research into a potential partner
- Older is no guarantee of experience

As always, these are just my opinions. Feel free to add your own thoughts!

If you’ve found this useful, read more of my threads here: threadreaderapp.com/user/TheSirDax

Or join #TeamDax on OnlyFans here:
onlyfans.com/sirdax

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Nuts, I forgot to add: None of this is as important as communication, trust and respect for each other. Those are a minimum expectation.
Thanks to @PeachesNScream5 for reminding me!