Thread by @MollyMcKew

I’m forcing myself to watch Fox News.

Tucker says Kamala & Joe only pretend to be people of faith and that Kamala “barks.” Keepin’ it classy!

Huge video montage to explain Pence isn’t sexist.

Zero words so far about domestic terror plot against Gov Whitmer.

Tucker thinks this is about “unhappy rich ladies whining about oppression” which is somehow about “identity politics”

Oh Jesus, he has Victor Davis Hanson madlibbing trigger words — AOC fracking Obama elites bankers green new deal — cannot. toggling to another channel.

Honest to god he is living angry far right word magnet art. It’s impossible to stop watching.

He says the working man is dying for “the zoom and the Skype class” and Trump is standing up to them by fracking and freeing Americans from wars started by Bay Area elites.

What?

“The people who benefit the most from the country seem to despise it the most” says Tucker without irony

Tucker so far:

Kamala bad
So is fly on Pence head
Crazy madlibs re AOC
25th amendment/Pelosi
Michelle Obama is making up white supremacy

Gee it’s a real mystery why women aren’t voting republican.

Like, does he have a narrative strategy that isn’t just hating women? Especially women who aren’t white?

Still nothing on Whitmer plot

Tucker has found riot footage involving black people to accuse Michelle Obama of things. It’s sad and pathetic. Almost like his producers are white nationalists. Oh wait.

Now there is the typical segment, aka black-guy-who-says-racial-identity-politics-are-the-reason-everything-is-bad. He’s says California is at war because of identity politics. Sigh. They aren’t the ones buying out the ammo, bub.

Tucker says diversity is dystopian.

Now he’s going to talk about the Chicoms.

OMFG there is an infomercial with Seb Gorka selling some kind of snake oil pain relief cure. Good grief. It’s an immersive reality.

Tucker trying to allege the Chicoms want Biden to win because they censored Pence comments on China in VP debate.

Tucker back to “mansplaining” which he says can’t be real. Now there’s a woman to talk about how mansplaining isn’t real, of course.

It’s 841pm, not a word about the domestic terror plot to kidnap/probably kill a democratically-elected governor

There was just a 7 min commercial break, I swear half of it was about urination in some variety.

Tucker now talking about the fly again and saying democrats think it means Pence is demonic.

Tucker throws to his — no sh*t — “resident expert on the occult”

Fox is where has-beens go to die.

Tucker is doing a real segment on the fly and demonic possession. The occult guy says the flies are from the sh*t in California streets and they are fleeing, with the homeless.

Still talking about the fly.

The occult guy says — “if you lift up Kamala’s hair, there is a 666”

Some riff about how Trump and Pence are “beefed up” and “ripped” and honestly it’s so gross.

Now the occult guy comments on mansplaining. Tucker is an absurdity beyond absurdity.

Now tucker will attack republicans for not doing enough to stop social media companies from oppressing conservative speech — a totally false narrative belied by facts.

Recapping: tucker used his time tonight to say nothing about a domestic terror plot to kill a governor and police officers, but has time to call Kamala Harris a dog, the devil, clueless, and godless.

Also no words for: hurricane, covid

I can’t do hannity. Sorry. I’m out.

I forgot to turn it off while doing dishes.

There was a Hannity segment with Bongino and Gaetz and it is a marvel how much hannity must surround himself with stupids because, well.

Still not one word on Fox during prime time on the Michigan terror plot.

Not. One. Word.

Also not a word on covid.

Hannity talking about belly lint while still waiting for POTUS to dial-in from the toilet.

Why do so many Fox guests wave props?

It’s a pocket constitution! It’s a white board! It’s a print out of something! It’s a newspaper! It’s the shriveled grape that used to be tucker’s soul! (Ok I made that last one up)

Sooooo many props

POTUS has phoned hannity. Sounds like garbage. Like the guy with a death cold on the conference call. Won’t answer hannity if he has had a negative covid test or not. Just madlibbing treatment words

Florida: the hurricane will miss you, but Trump will bring you covid on Saturday. Cheers.

Trump doesn’t really know if he has covid anymore. Didn’t really ask. Who would?

Trump chokes on his own phlegm, drops out for a few seconds.

POTUS attacking debate commission, Chris Wallace, Ukraine, Biden, c-span, I think he means the Lincoln project? Can anyone know? It’s like a drunk family member calling to complain about the space lasers listening to them. He says he will set up his own debates. With who??

POTUS takes time to single out women being awful to him 🙄

Enemy of the people. Blah blah.

Has no idea what he is saying.

Listening to POTUS is like the scene in that French film noire where an eyeball gets slashed open with a straight razor.

THEYRE GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS. NOBODY TALKS ABOUT LIFE ANYMORE. BIDEN KILLS BABIES AFTER BIRTH.

This is the president of the United States, phoning in from the toilet for late night.

THE SUBURBS WILL FALL. THE SUBURBS ARE OVER. AND THE WOMEN. I AM PROTECTING THE WOMEN. ESPECIALLY FROM “LOW INCOME” PEOPLE

🙄

If this guy was next to you in the bus, you would move to another seat. Get off a stop early, even.

POTUS finally raises Michigan — to say Whitmer not grateful enough that they did anything to stop the plot. Pivots to “antifa is the problem”

POTUS, like everyone else on Fox, attacks California constantly. It’s comical. California is not much of a villain.

POTUS flacks his “army” of poll disrupters, says sheriffs will help. Sigh.

Now my dad is FaceTiming me about sheep migration in Idaho while POTUS still ranting. It’s like watching a telenovella and listening to a work conference call at the same time.

Wraps up on “Hillary treason” for “spying” on him. Which wouldn’t have been treason btw.

I really am not doing ingraham. /fin