Thread by @SoozUK

THREAD: I woke up at 6 and immediately HAD to write down the dream I had coz this shit was CRAY. It's about Donald Trump and me.

In the dream Trump let me in his office to ask him questions every so often. He was incredibly rude to me but would let me ask him just about anything and he was always saying that Tyler Perry loved him and I would say "I'm sure he'll learn the truth eventually".

By the way, it wasn't the Oval Office, it was some weird long thin office which I THINK was sort of the conference room from Network.

Sometimes I'd go to meetings with him and scowl at all the pricks and he’d be rude etc but he started increasingly ranting that he couldn't trust anyone and he kept saying "things aren't right, Sooz" and he suspected he was about to go down in flames.

He said "you're the only one I can trust" and I said "I FUCKING HATE YOU!", like I really screamed it at him. One day he had a gun and he was prowling the corridors of where his office was and was shooting staffers and then he shot Tyler Perry!

I tried to get the gun off him and he turned it on me and I ran away and hid in an air vent.

Eventually I came down and was able to just take the gun from him coz he was just crouched, catatonic, but then I didn’t know what to do coz what if the police just didn’t believe me?!

So I rang MSNBC and told THEM what happened and as I was talking it dissolved to years beforehand and an ebullient newly-elected Trump was on a bicycle in Paris and he passes Putin, Nigel Farage and Tyler Perry all on bicylces and they all go “AH BONJOUR” to each other and laugh.

Then finally it cut to me in a blanket in an ambulance saying “you have to believe me” to a paramedic and the paramedic said “the whole world will believe you if you believe yourself”. Then I heard a gunshot and woke up with a jolt and wrote all this down!

Look, @UniversalPics? Do you want to make this? Coz it was pretty fucking exciting. Tyler Perry and I can play ourselves.