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David Burge Profile picture
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2 Nov, 6 tweets, 1 min read
This Just In: Dicks are for Trump, Karens are for Biden
This may be the most unnecessary political poll of all time
According to my pollster, I have strong support among people named Chester, Mildred, and Bubbles
Well, Tiffanis with an i and Krystals with a K
my path to victory is women whose first name ends in i:

Tiffani
Destini
Candi
Bambi
I would like to point out no one has ever said "don't be such a Dave"

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
4 Nov
Today: "wow, the polls were pretty far off, maybe we should have taken them with a grain of salt."

Next Tuesday: "Here's Nate Entrails with a deep dive analysis of the latest tracking numbers from the NBS-Squippippinac Approve-O-Meter"
I guess it's time for my quadrennial rant on sampling statistics.
Sampling statistics have a long and proud history in all kinds of applications, from medical studies to manufacturing to agriculture, and yes, for a while, in politics.
Read 20 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
3 Nov
It's a hard life being a tympani player, but every 4 years it is Fat City
Also golden times for people in the Studio Spaceship Command Jumbotron Telestrator biz
I kinda miss the days when it was one guy behind a steelcase office desk in a plaid suit with a big condenser microphone and a paper flip chart, and they told you who won before 10 pm
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
3 Nov
The following is an experiment:
The Australians are secretly plotting to unleash packs of dingoes to eat America's babies
There are potential problems with mail-in voting
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
3 Nov
Wow, I did not know that. Thank you for sharing this amazing fact

More astonishing facts for the New York Times' highly sophisticated and informed readership Image
I kinda hope Trump wins the popular vote in a landslide and Biden wins the Electoral vote, just to watch the history-erasing Year Zero rhetorical chaos
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
2 Nov
I beat @AdamBaldwin in bowling
Artist's depiction of the epic keggling match ImageImage
Your intimidation tactics have no effect on Ice Water Dave, Baldwin Image
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
1 Nov
Happy double full moons from #DavesCarIDService Image
*Moon Equipment is a speed & dress-up accessory company started by Dean Moon in the 1950s, famous for their aluminum fuel tanks, wheel covers, and handsome fleet of yellow race cars. The Mooneyes Special '32 Ford 3 window above is sporting "full Moon" wheel covers. ImageImageImageImage
After my macabre Halloween junkyard car ID thread yesterday, let's get back to some sweet family album shots- like this leggy Dallas lass and a '72 AMC Gremlin. The mall hair and leggings put the photo squarely around 1982.
Read 27 tweets

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