Thread by @GbengaWemimo

My first smart deal was done when I was 10
I was a pupil at Army children school 3, Iwo road, Ibadan at the time
I was a model pupil with great academic achievements
My favourite teacher was Mrs Akinwale, she taught me in primary 5 and brought out the best she can in my writing

Skills
When I got to primary 6, I had this teacher called MR. Babalola
He was the mathematics Teacher
I hated mathematics
Whenever he gave us class work, we would submit and he would mark
If you get back your note and you see “see me” on the page where you did your class work

It means he will give you four strokes of the cane
I know I will always get a see me
And that means I will always get four strokes of his “pankere” everyday
His “see me” and his “pankere” had a reputation
I had prayed I wouldn’t be put in his class but God didn’t hear that prayer

I sat in my room and thought hard about it
How do I escape MR. Babalola’s cane for a whole year?
I decided I would pay attention in class and become a mathematics prodigy
School resumed
Day 1, I got a see me
I was given the four strokes on my bumbum
Day 2, I got a see me
Another

Four strokes
This went on for a week
By the following Saturday I realized my plan to become a mathematics prodigy was a bad one
It is more reasonable to prepare for the flogging
So I started doubling my school knicker and padding my body in anticipation of the cane
Mr. Babalola

saw through it
The “See me” I got that monday came with flogging at the back of my legs
(That thing is very painful! It was as if he bit me with his brown teeth and gave me rabies. Oh my, I wish I can see Mr. Babalola now)
The pain made me think of a more permanent solution
One

my smartness can purchase for me
So when I got home that day I wrote a letter
In the letter I stated clearly that I am the mother of this pupil and he was suffering from sickle cell Condition
I stated that the flogging has landed my son in the hospital and he was battling for his

life
I wrote it very well
I got to school, gave the letter to my younger brother to deliver for me and went on a truancy walk through the mammy market throughout the school day
When we got home that afternoon, my younger brother assured me that Mr Babalola turned white after

reading my letter
When I got to school the next day, Mr Babalola called me and said I should have told him I was a sickler
He told me he wouldn’t write see me in my class note again
That was the end of the flogging
I used the same ploy for many teachers when I got to secondary

School too
I remember one MR Ajayi-Obe in Olivet Baptist High school
He was in charge of labour and would give us grass to cut every Wednesday like Pharoah did for the children of Israel
I went to get a doctors report that exempted me from cutting grass and other forms of labour

It worked for me too
My “smartness” became legendary as I grew older
I was heading for the “con artist” reality
I remember composing a “we are going on excursion” letter when I was fourteen and signing our school principal’s hand
I have it to my daddy, a PH.D holder and he paid

He gave me 500 Naira for the excursion to Kainji dam
I gave the same letter to all my friends and classmates in the boarding school I was attending at the time and all the parents paid up
I got a cut of the payment from all the students
I was Don Shemuel, Mafia kingpin!
Am my

Friends hailed me for my smartness
One of them, Shina, introduced me to Micky Bricks and his series titled “Hustle
He said I was his real life Micky Bricks
I remember a friend, he will probably read this because he started following me on Twitter recently
This dear friend of mine

Came to me to ask how he could open his mother’s room and her access to her money
I gave him a solution in two minutes
The solution worked
A month later, I head the news that his mother was affected by stroke when she discovered that her son had cleaned her out. Thank God she

Recovered.
My friend went to OSU with another friend in pursuit of the love of his life and spent his mother’s business money trying to convince the lady to be his girlfriend
The money finished
The lady still said no
His mother would have died for nothing
Our actions do have

Consequences!
I had assumed I was wired that way
Wired to outsmart people and cheat them of their stuff
I wonder why my instinct and imagination always took me in that direction
How can God blame me for making me that way? That used to be my argument
I see the loopholes so easily

I know how to exploit them
I was like Jacob!
Then I met the Holy Spirit
I thought I would stop automatically but I didn’t
I still had it
I cannot even begin to list all the stuff I did even after I had become baptized in the Holy Ghost
I needed to be transformed from within but

I didn’t know how
My mother gave me an NIV Bible
She told me to read it from chapter to chapter
She said the word transforms
I took her word with a pinch of salt
I was the type of believer who read the Bible with the intention of contesting and arguing with it
Many things in it

Didn’t make sense to me
I could always show God when I read His word that I was smarter than him
One day I was sleeping in my room when I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit
I started shaking and screaming
My whole body was vibrating in my fetal position as I laid on the floor

The Holy Spirit said “My wisdom lies in my word! True wisdom is believing my word! Just saying yes to my word is wisdom!”
I felt hot all over
I shouted “Yes sir”
I was in pain!
I just wanted Him to leave me alone and so I agreed with Him without any argument
That was the day he

Changed me
It wasn’t the experience that changed me
It was the simplicity of that instruction!
Once I recognize something as the word of God, I agree with it
Foolishly
Gullibly...
Especially when it didn’t make sense
As long as I am sure God said it, I will keep saying it! It was

That simple
Many of my old friends are pastors and evangelists now
We still rub minds and share ideas but now we do it for the gospel
I changed in such a manner that an old friend came to see me in Lagos, we shook hands and his addiction to marijuana disappeared instantly! The

Charms he had on his body for protection against “evil” also expired
He kept shouting “Olumide, o ti di ina o” (Olumide, you have become fire or you have become the light)
The secret of power lies in agreeing with the word of God spoken in the scripture or through the word of

Prophecy
It doesn’t have to make sense
You don’t have to be emotionally invested in it’s outcome as either right or wrong
Just say and walk in agreement with His word consciously everyday
It is unwise to serve a God whose position on a matter is the opposite of your own position!

When God told Moses to lead the children of Israel through the sea, it didn’t make sense but He made a way and it made Moses great!
His greatness lies in his ability not to make sense
Your greatness lies in that ability too
Just agree in words and in deed
His word will keep you!