Thread by @pfemiolaleye

Marriage and parental consent .

A thread .

Marriage is a very powerful institution. It is sacred and must never be entered into without proper consideration. A marriage would always give birth to another being that our parents married and brought us into the world .

This means marriage as a whole is a generational continuum. As we carry the experience and wisdom trans generationally and it is handed down from parents to children.

Marriage is for adults and not kids . This implies that who you marry is your own decision . You must be self aware enough to decide for yourself the man or woman you want to spend the rest of your life with . Anyone who cannot decide this shouldn’t marry .

This doesn’t mean that you ignore the caution , counsel and advise of your parents , spiritual leaders and mentors . Pay attention to their objections because that marriage will definitely affect the trajectory of your life . Listen to their objections

There is an experience age comes with that you cannot buy . So the objections and concerns of a parent shouldn’t stop you from marrying but it should make you answer the questions raised . This is very important o !

Especially if your parents are spiritual people . They may pick up something you ignored . Due to the fact that they are not “invested” in that relationship they will note what you brush off . Leverage on this . Leverage on it well !

Learn to separate parental prejudice due to tribe , social class etc from real issues like character , attitude and promptings from their spirits . Separate it . If it is based on prejudices please ignore . But if it is not then pay attention!

I will never advise anyone to marry against parental advise or consent . I will always counsel that you patiently wait for them to come to your side except it is clear that they are yielding to the devil . Do not ostracize your parents because you want to marry o.

That is a mistake . I can tell you from two decades of pastoral experience . Marriage is harder alone . It is painful when you marry and cut of from your own family of over twenty years . If you do that then something already is wrong . Something foundational.

These things are heavy matters . There is a restraint that must be exercised when dealing with them . Parents are heavy in Gods eyes . They are very heavy . This is why we honor them . Though parents don’t choose your spouse , don’t ignore their wisdom or counsel .

Especially, when the wisdom is devoid of prejudice. Let me share my own personal experience with you .

I once dated a lady who I loved at the time . I took her to meet my parents . Everything went well . Then Mum reaches out and says “I don’t think she is the one , pray some more “ . No pressure , just caution . I was younger then .

I told her I saw a vision , I love the lady . Well, the lady left in a terrible manner . It didn’t work out . Then again when I brought my own wife . My parents loved her but had questions . I was more mature now . So I answered their questions over time .

I won them over as they saw what i saw over time . So we saw the same thing about @_tolaniolaleye even though I saw it first. I just gave them time . Now my wife is their second daughter and they relate so well together .

Because marriage will involve in-laws you must start the foundation of that marriage with wisdom towards them . You will pray for them to see , you must engage and speak with respect and honor . In time they will come your way and pray for you .

Children are their parents life work . They want the best for you so if they bring up concerns about this person you want to marry please listen and answer with wisdom . Quieten their fears . Remember , you are their whole world !