The house we grew up in: “Who do you think you are?”
Driving: Stirling Moss
Fighting: Joe Bugner
Gardening: Percy Thrower
Kicking up: Pepe Le Pew
Splashing the cash - Viv Nicholson
Shirt unbuttoned: Jason King
Asking for non supermarket branded shampoo : Queen of Sheba.
Any type of Punk attire - Sid Snot.
New false teeth - Red Rum.
Sat in a rocking chair - Val Doonican
Wearing a raincoat - Columbo.
Wear a dressing gown: Noel Coward (see also Hugh Hefner)
Cleaning windows: Robin Askwith
Acting mysteriously - Arthur C Clarke
Dribbling a football - George Best
Drinking - George Best, again.
Playing the piano - Bobby Crush.
Sporting a moustache - Dickie Davies
Expressing a forceful political opinion: Arthur Scargill.
Unfortunate gait: Hopalong Cassidy.
Putting a fire out: Red Adair.
Falling on your arse on ice: Torvill and Dean.
Outside with no shoes: Zola Budd.
Having an opinion on soft furnishings: Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
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The MD guide to the 50 greatest 70s household dangers. In order. Part 2.
Number 50
The Pink Panther Bar. Officially the sweetest substance ever made. Enough sugar to turbo-rot teeth. Enough e-number to destabilize a child for 8 hours. Why dentists drove sports cars in the 70s.
Number 49
The phone lock/party line combo. Da had another accident with the electric carving knife? Need an urgent ambulance? Better make sure you've got the key and the neighbours aren't using the party line. And it's after 6pm because nobody dared use the phone until then.
Number 48
The borrowed school recorder. Initial reassuring whiff of Dettol, followed by the horror of discovering a small reservoir of collective spittle in the head. A germ farm.
The MD guide to the 40 greatest 70s household dangers. In order.
Number 40
A car battery permanently on charge. On the kitchen table. Sparking and giving off fumes that made the dog wobble. And leaking sulphuric acid.
Number 39
The sixpence in the Christmas pudding. Chipped teeth, emergency deployment of the Heimlich maneuver and various nasty conditions caused by 'retrieving' the accidentally swallowed coin.
Number 38
Dental mayhem. Fillings ragged out with a rogue Toffo. Lose teeth removed with a bit of string and a door handle.