Witches Association Meeting.
Myself and 5 other women are circling a large calabash.
The woman behind me steps on my cloth
Me: *Turns to her* You can't see your leg on my cloth?
(We continue but she steps on it again)
Me: Who be dis? I say you're marching my...
Myself and 5 other women are circling a large calabash.
The woman behind me steps on my cloth
Me: *Turns to her* You can't see your leg on my cloth?
(We continue but she steps on it again)
Me: Who be dis? I say you're marching my...
Leader: Heis Heis! Everybody stop! Hauwa what?
Me: She has been marching my cloth since morning.
Leader: *Looks at me* What are you wearing?
Me: (Smoothes PDP agbada) Is cloth.
Leader: Can't you see what we are all wearing?
*She points to their red wrappers*
Me: She has been marching my cloth since morning.
Leader: *Looks at me* What are you wearing?
Me: (Smoothes PDP agbada) Is cloth.
Leader: Can't you see what we are all wearing?
*She points to their red wrappers*
Me: (itches head) Eh. This your material is cost. And they can't ko se si.
Leader: Ko se si?
Me: As in, they can't put this kind of design that Sanyeri is wearing.
Leader: Ko se si?
Me: As in, they can't put this kind of design that Sanyeri is wearing.
Leader: Are you okay?
Me: *nods*
Leader: Who asked you to do design?
Me: Me, I don't use to wear cloth that they didn't ko se si o.
Me: *nods*
Leader: Who asked you to do design?
Me: Me, I don't use to wear cloth that they didn't ko se si o.
My phone starts ringing.
🎶Gbogbo Aje Paranran 🎺🎺Gbogbo oso paranran🎺🎺🎶
Everyone: ...
Me: ....
🎶Gbogbo Aje Paranran 🎺🎺Gbogbo oso paranran🎺🎺🎶
Everyone: ...
Me: ....
Me: Ayefele won't kill me.
Leader: *Hisses* Sisters! Today we will eat the flesh and blood that you have brought for us!
Women: (nod)
Me: (claps)
Leader: Hauwa, bring the flesh of your .... who did you kill?
Me: My Daddy-in-law!
Leader: Very good! Serve us!
Leader: *Hisses* Sisters! Today we will eat the flesh and blood that you have brought for us!
Women: (nod)
Me: (claps)
Leader: Hauwa, bring the flesh of your .... who did you kill?
Me: My Daddy-in-law!
Leader: Very good! Serve us!
Me: *rushes to the front with yellow and black nylon*
Me: *Brings out slice bread and kunu* *Gives everybody two slices*
Woman: Give me 3
Me: Do you have thief spirit? That's how you were marching my cloth before. Are you mad...
Me: *Brings out slice bread and kunu* *Gives everybody two slices*
Woman: Give me 3
Me: Do you have thief spirit? That's how you were marching my cloth before. Are you mad...
Leader: Hauwa! Why are you sharing bread and kunu?? Where is the flesh?
Me: Leader, do you see this koko on my head?
Leader: Ehn?
Me: As I was pressing my father-in-law's neck yesterday to kill him, his son knack shovel on my head. I don't know why they have shovel in th...
Me: Leader, do you see this koko on my head?
Leader: Ehn?
Me: As I was pressing my father-in-law's neck yesterday to kill him, his son knack shovel on my head. I don't know why they have shovel in th...
Leader: Please shut up and go and sit down.
Me: *Crawls to my seat*
Leader: Collect your bread from everybody
Me: *Crawls to gather my bread* *I reach that stupid woman*
Me: You've eaten the bread abi?
Tiff.
Me: *Crawls to my seat*
Leader: Collect your bread from everybody
Me: *Crawls to gather my bread* *I reach that stupid woman*
Me: You've eaten the bread abi?
Tiff.
Leader: Abeke! Bring the palmwine we want to use to turn people to bushmeat!
Me: Which palmwine?
Me: Which palmwine?
Leader: Did you drink it?
Me: No o, but I sold small to the man outside.
Woman 1: My husband??? You turn my husband to bushmeat???
Husband: *Cries outside in bushmeat language*
Leader: Don't worry, we will turn him back.
Hauwa, leave this meeting.
Me: No o, but I sold small to the man outside.
Woman 1: My husband??? You turn my husband to bushmeat???
Husband: *Cries outside in bushmeat language*
Leader: Don't worry, we will turn him back.
Hauwa, leave this meeting.
Me: Ha. We have not discuss what I want o.
Leader: Which is?
Me: I want to collect ring that I will use to slap Sanwo-Olu. So that he will be giving me conract.
Me: *Brings out Lace material* Then I want to sell aso-ebi.
Everyone:
Me: I'm selling pant too.
Leader: GET OUT
Leader: Which is?
Me: I want to collect ring that I will use to slap Sanwo-Olu. So that he will be giving me conract.
Me: *Brings out Lace material* Then I want to sell aso-ebi.
Everyone:
Me: I'm selling pant too.
Leader: GET OUT
Me: You've not taught me how to fly o.
(I eventually leave and appear on the tree outside our house)
Uncle Adisa: THAT'S HER! WINCH!
Me: *Frowns at him*
Uncle Adisa: She wore my PDP Agbada to her meeting!
Me: Why are you shouting? Do you know where I am coming from?
(I eventually leave and appear on the tree outside our house)
Uncle Adisa: THAT'S HER! WINCH!
Me: *Frowns at him*
Uncle Adisa: She wore my PDP Agbada to her meeting!
Me: Why are you shouting? Do you know where I am coming from?
Uncle Adisa: AND SHE CARRY THE BREAD I'M SUPPOSED TO USE TO DRINK TEA!
Me: *Throws chunks of bread at him* Eat your stupid bread! And stop disturbing me.
Daddy-in-law: She tried to press me neck yesterday too!
Me: AND DO YOU SEE THE KOKO ON MY HEAD?
Me: *Throws chunks of bread at him* Eat your stupid bread! And stop disturbing me.
Daddy-in-law: She tried to press me neck yesterday too!
Me: AND DO YOU SEE THE KOKO ON MY HEAD?
Uncle Adisa: *Checks his bread* WHO TOOK FROM THIS BREAD?
Me: Won't you bring Ladder to bring
me down first? Is this where
I will sleep?
Me: Won't you bring Ladder to bring
me down first? Is this where
I will sleep?
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
