Thread by @QuinnyPig

It's the AWS infrastructure keynote with Peter DeSantis, and this is my #reQuinnvent livetweet thread. Like an @awscloud groundhog, this is the one day a year he comes out of the data center to tell us what he's seen, look for his shadow, and use the bathroom.

♪ ♫ ♬ He's coming out of his cage, and he's feeling just fine... ♪ ♫ ♬
#reinvent

Music in a minor key about adversity is a great choice to kick off a keynote about infrastructure. Hardware is always depressing; it's a real kick in the rack nuts. #reinvent

Okay, the sad dreary music is over so I put away the bourbon and stop crying at 8AM. Now it's a happy upbeat song, presumably about serverless. #reinvent

The band is @blancobuffalo for those following along at home.

And we're starting with an ad for @Intel. Thanks to the #reinvent sponsor prospectus, we know that an intro video for the keynote is a sponsor option that costs $175K.

BUT MY SARCASM IS FREE

"AWS and Intel have a deep partnership and we're excited about the future" and now here's Peter DeSantis here to talk about how Graviton2 is kicking Intel's price/performance so hard that the power dims.

And here's the man of the hour!

Sure enough he starts right in about Graviton2.

"Wait we paid how much for that sponsorship?" --@intel

"It basically runs on money."

Instead make the hamster run smarter. #reinvent

"That's why @awscloud sells experience by the gigabyte second month pound."

I feel seen right now. #reinvent

I'm damned tempted to write "The Collected Wisdom of @Werner" next year. #reinvent

This is the prettiest one-line diagram I've ever seen. #reinvent

The generator is Amazon Yellow.

Anyone who tells you that exec peace of mind isn't a change driver is lying to you. #reinvent

If all @awscloud ever did was "provided a place to run your hardware that doesn't screw up the power" it'd be worth it. This stuff is SUPER hard to get right.

Sit down, Hacker News.

A shot of the AWS/400.

"Here we have a representation of your Lambda functions."

I think he's talking about Procurement.

Dunno why @awscloud is so focused on SageMaker when they've already got a real live sage working there already.

It's not "Cloud" without a weather map .

Oh the shade!

"Other providers don't talk about AZ separation specifics" he says while AWS's non-specific 'meaningful distance' is right there on the slide. #reinvent

Now AWS threatens me. #reinvent

Old school supply chain vs. new supply chain for 4 non-specified components.

And now the CIO for... the @NFL. I hope this goes better than their last keynote appearance where they talked about how oh so very very very important player health was to them.

Meanwhile @awscloud just dropped the VPC Reachability Analyzer. Finally!

aws.amazon.com/blogs/aws/new-…

"We have millions of customers, and that's why we've had the same three keep showing up on slides and in keynotes."

Now talking about their Annapurna Labs acquisition. They're unique not in that they got acquired, but that their name didn't get shoved down the memory hole.

Peter DeSantis now announces the new @Apple iMac.

The shell that Macs Mini live within for the EC2 Mac instances.

Nitro is now gen4.

The real-world implications of what that unlocks.

And the fake-world implications of what that unlocks; to wit, ML.

I used to believe that your child in pain was the worst sound you would ever hear, but then @awscloud named their custom trip "Trainium." #reinvent

Now talking about the design process for Graviton2. It apparently exceeded its design goals.

WE NEED MORE CORES

*cringes in Python*

Peter now talks about the design of the new iPhone. #reinvent

Today I learned what SMT is and now I immediately have very angry opinions about it. Let's march on AMD headquarters! #reinvent

"Wait, why wouldn't you march on Intel's headquarters?"
"For the same reason I don't give a shit what IBM has to say about the cloud."

"And 3, kick Intel SUPER hard in the bollocks!"

Oh hell yes. "When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a database" is my motto. #reinvent

I see we're in the "benchmarks are awesome" part of the @awscloud marketing cycle. Last year we were in the "lies, damned lies, and vendor benchmark" portion. #reinvent

Hey I know those people!

Now let's talk about Snap's multiple-billion cloud commitments. Too rich for my blood. I'm going to go buy a $9K iPhone instead. caviar.global/iphone-12/jobs/

Wild to hear "we're on the path to profitability" touted as a good thing. I admit I have a very antiquated view of business in this regard. #reinvent

Gah I broke the thread. The rest is here:

https://twitter.com/quinnypig/status/1337080833270636546