Thread by @michaelharriot

I just found out that @johnlegend made Jingle Jangle and it all makes sense now.

I’ve been working on this a theory for a while but it’s time to expose him.

I believe that John Legend is an actual angel.

A thread:

his bio is a lot like mine. I’m a real person. But is John?

U be the judge.

He CLAIMS he was homeschooled in “Springfield,” the most common city name in America.

Being homeschooled myself, I know i know ithis sheltered life. This is a cover.

That nigga was in heaven, dawg.

He went to high school at 12, same as me. According to my sources (Wikipedia) he led a jazz ensemble and a acapella group and was offered admisssion to Harvard, Georgetown and Morehouse but went to Penn—an Ivy League School

When I was a 12-year old freshman, I weighed 89 lbs, I was short, young and awkward from staying in the house for my whole life.

No high school kid lets the tiny nerd “lead” them!

I know you’re thinking: “Maybe you weren’t as talented”

First off:

Secondly, I also went to an “Ivy” bc of my acapella music...

When Leroy Brockington threw me in the bushes for my revised version of “Can I Kick It” about him having TWO big toes on one foot

Does John Legend have any bushes stories? Nope.

That’s celestial privilege

Did you know John Legend played piano on the “Miseducation of Lauryn Hill?”

I don’t know if this is true or not (which usually means it is DEFINITELY NOT TRUE) but that she arrived 5 minutes early for that session.

Who could make Lauryn show up on time?

Only an angel, bruh

What was his first major hit?

A shabby attempt to convince the world that he was just like us.

“Ordinary People”

You may have fallen for it, but I drink alkaline water and use my third eye, so when I heard it, I immediately said:

Then, he almost gave himself away when he did a song with someone who EVERYONE KNOWS is not from this realm

But it’s not just his music. I think we can all agree that, if he was a human, John would be a church keyboard player who always summons the Holy Ghost—or at least be a high-level member of the deacon’s chorale.

But here’s the thing that made me suspicious enough to say:

I have this belief that a lot of the fucked up things in black communities (gun violence, suicide, gangs) are due to black kids having pent-up trauma from racism, poverty and other motherfuckers with pent up trauma.

I know this sounds like some liberal BS but imagine this:

Imagine if when you were young, you knew someone JUST LIKE YOU.

You remember all the crazy shit you wanted to do when u were young? Imagine if someone showed you how to do that shit. Even better, imagine if you ACTUALLY SAW someone doing that shit!

Or, even better:

Imagine if someone who DID THAT CRAZY SHIT you dreamed about showed you how to DO THAT CRAZY SHIT you dreamed of doing and you were surrounded by people just like you who liked that crazy shit, too!

Here’s the problem:

This country has SO MUCH smoke for Black people.

Seriously. It’s not even about the hate

It’s underfunded schools & stop & Frisk & no one on tv or your college looks like you because they only let 1 nigga through the door at a time but everybody in prison could be your cousin

And no one says: “You ain’t shit and you ain’t gonna be shit” or “die nigger”

But if you are poor and black, unless you color inside the lines, honestly, you are seriously led to believe you might not be shit and you might die, nigga.

And you ingest this All YOUR GODDAMNED LIFE

Of course it’s not true.

But...who the hells gonna tell you this? Who the hell is gonna show you this?

That’s LITERALLY why I was homeschooled

I only found this out a year ago. My mom said it was an experiment. She said she didn’t believe:

A black child can fully realize their humanity in the presence of whiteness.”

I think about that A LOT.

WTF does this have to do with John Legend?

Well I think finding ways to help people let go of trauma can actually dismantle all this bullshit. some people release it though music. For some people it’s being on stage. For Some people, it’s athletics. For me it was writing l

Most people need some kind of structure that makes them comfortable enough to let go of trauma. I don’t even think it matters what the thing is. Shit, I thought I was gonna be an oil painter. And a film director. U already know about my Ivy League singing career

Goddamn, I hate saying this overused word, but muhfuckas need a “safe space.”

I’m stupid AF, so I don’t know how the hell to do that. But I fucks with people who do.

And this is what happened.

One day, I’m talking to these HS kids in a poetry program who were preparing for “Brave New Voices” a national youth poetry competition.

I’ve done spoken word for years & know these competitions inside and out. But instead of giving writing advice, I give them fundraising ideas

They’re like “nah. We’re good on that.”

And I’m like “you might think so, but you always need money for...”

And they say: “bruh, didn’t we say we were good? John Legend was looking out. He gave us a grant.”

A couple months later, this happens:

This time I’m talking to a class about history and bring up the Tulsa Race Massacre.

Did you know these little runts were telling me stuff I DIDNT KNOW?

It turns out, some dude had given them money and resources to do a whole excavation on the subject

You know who did it.

And THEN, you know how, when u bring up racism, those people always ask: “why don’t you do something about black on black violence?”

Well I was reading something about a charter school that did, and guess whose name popped up?

So I’m arguing with my homey about whether “A Charlie Brown Christmas” is better than “A Christmas Story” & his daughter says:
They don’t have no Black kids tho.”

I’m a “Christmas Story” guy myself but I remind her that Franklin is Black & pull it up on YouTube

I can’t remember any specific Franklin lines so, instead I pull up that iconic scene where the entire cast sings “Christmastime is Here” as they decorate the tree. II can’t let her slander homey Charlie B like that and...

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDN’T INVITE FRANKLIN!!!!

They had a snow day, hot chocolate, went skating and everything and they just “forgot” to call Franklin?

My whole world is shook.

I can’t believe Chuck B would do this. I know he wore a red baseball cap but I didn’t know it was a MAGA hat

she pulls up “Jingle Jangle” and she is dancing and knows all the words & all the kids look like her. Now I’ve never seen it, but apparently there’s a robot in the movie, so she declares that she wants to go to Black girl Robot camp

“Ain’t no Black girl robot camp, bruh” I say

So I Google it.

I’ll be goddamned.

I’m telling y’all...

That dude ain’t from round here

educatorinnovator.org/in-the-borderl…