Many children of immigrants have access to resources our parents didn't have, and prioritizing healing & growth is great & all... but can we please talk about what it REALLY feels like -- and how incredibly painful & hard it can be -- to emotionally outgrow your parents & family?
You love them but you can't heal them. You love them but you understand things in ways they don’t have language for. You love them but you're left having to rationalize their behaviors while simultaneously working through how it may be affecting you.
We constantly grapple with how our parents are not necessarily the enemy (this doesn’t include all family dynamics of course), & as such, many children of immigrants learn over and over and over again how to practice extreme empathy & understanding for others’ shortcomings.
As I’ve built out a community by and for children of immigrants, I am blown away by how strong, kind, & resilient the community is AND how much we collectively struggle to take up space & value ourselves because of our own internalized beliefs that we will never, ever be enough.
Phew. If you are a child of immigrants, I see you! This is heavy work. But ya'll show up - for yourselves & for others. If you love a child of immigrants, love them a little harder. Just because they carry their trauma, burden (& respective privilege) well doesn't mean it's easy.
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