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45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
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19 Dec, 4 tweets, 2 min read
The weather outside is frightful.

So is the police state.

In the Brigade Workshop, we’re making lots of shrinky dink keychains and earrings. We’ll be putting them up on Instagram. 100% of proceeds go to @DefenseFundPdx and @pdxgdc. Give the gift of your buds not being in jail! A pie pan full of shrinky d...
Also: several of these designs are from things given away for free at the various protests this year. We own none of them, and will be making no money off them. We’re just here for the shrunken dinks and the bail funds. DM us if we’re using your image and you want us not to.
Insta is also 45thabsurdist. It’s in our linktree too.
Update: Here are the Shanky Danks currently shrunk and available for bail fund donations. And assortment of shrinky d...

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More from @45thabsurdist

45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
14 Dec
Ok twitter, it's Old Anarchist Story Hour. We weren't on the ground at Red House hardly at all, so this is very much not trying to tell anyone what to do. But it's worth remembering that various solutions to the "Security" problem have been tried in the past. (thread)
First: We're old enough to remember extensive use of two organizing roles that seem to have fallen by the wayside: Purple Armbands (Conflict Resolution/De-Escalation/Mediators) and Marshals. Neither is perfect, but they're both worth reflecting on. /
Different colored armbands got used a bunch in large-scale actions back in the day, to signify different logistical roles. We first encountered them in anti-war/anti-globalization and eco-defense actions in the early 2000s, but the practice probably goes back much farther. /
Read 20 tweets
45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
23 Nov
Riotsheds: a tragicomedy

Friends, Portlanders, Suburbanites, Lend me your ears: We come to bury the bourgeoisie (in a metal box that costs as much as a year of college), not to praise them. A flier for “riotsheds.com” advertising “free installa
These fliers are apparently being handed out in the Laurelhurst neighborhood. The website is real, and kind of awe inspiring. First: if your disaster plan involves locking yourself in a metal box with one door and no windows, our condolences: you have made a bad disaster plan. Riot sheds landing page: banner at the top reads SHELTER DUR
In this thread, we hope to illustrate the ways in which Riot Sheds are not, in fact, An Realistic.
Read 15 tweets
45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
16 Oct
Just arrived downtown to check in on the bizarro attack on homeless encampments that’s been underway, almost literally on the PPB’s doorstep. @1misanthrophile has been here for a while, and has captured some of the altercations so far.
things seem to have died down, multiple clergy witnesses and some folks in bloc are on site, keeping an eye out. The newest (and let’s be real, least photogenic) of the Elks is still resting after this morning’s excitement, when it was knocked down by the Thin Blue Line crowd.
When I describe this situation as “bizarro,” this is the kind of thing I’m talking about. And the punching.
Read 10 tweets
45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
14 Oct
Editorial:
We once told @suzettesmith that we’d do a thread of jokes about proudboys.

@genialanarchist has provided the impetus. So here we are. Ahem:

Q: What do you call a proud boy’s mom?

A: the legal guardian of his children
What does a proud boy’s mom call her son?

“Dead to me”

Just kidding. She never calls anymore.
Why are proud boys homophobic?

Because nobody wants to fuck a proud boy.

Why are so many proud boys incels?

Because *NO ONE* wants to fuck a proud boy.

Why don’t proud boys masturbate?

Because they don’t even want to fuck themselves.
Read 6 tweets
45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
24 Sep
It is wet and raining, but protesters are at the Justice center tonight 9/23 because no one was charged with the death of #BreonnaTaylor.
There are 2-300 people out tonight.
Speaker: “None of us are surprised by what happened today”.
Read 38 tweets
45th parallel absurdist brigade Profile picture
23 Sep
Serious question:
Who is this ad for?
I will concede that “Robert and the fine people who listen to his podcasts” is a funny answer.

However, the ad as a cultural artifact also indicates a world where plutocrats skim twitter and then idly make calls to their broker to buy stock in knife missiles—->
And government functionaries with DoD purchasing power, utterly unqualified for their positions, entirely unfamiliar with the world of defense contractors, and absolutely wrecked by petty abuse from their superiors, skim twitter between receiving tweet-orders from the president->
Read 8 tweets

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