If I could get neurotypical people to do one thing, it would be to stop projecting intent onto neurodivergent people when there is none. Stop and think before you use words like flaky, lazy, messy, and rude re ND people, and reflect on what is actually underneath the behaviour.
E.g. your ADHD friend isn't late because they don't value your time- they find time universally hard to measure. Your autistic friend not making eye contact doesn't mean they're not listening. Dsypraxic clumsiness doesn't mean they're being careless.
The most exhausting thing about ADHD is managing the way people emotionally react to behaviours that have nothing to do with them, e.g. My Mum interpreting me leaving cupboard doors open as a lack of respect for how she keeps her kitchen. I have ADHD and forget them! I do try!
Neurotypical people: you need to let go of the idea that other peoples' behaviour always stems from the same place as your own. When your ND friends and family tell you why they're behaving in a certain way, believe them!
While there are obviously exceptions that you should treat differently, I don't know any neurodivergent people who are nefariously leaving things messy or not listening on purpose and lying about why. Stop equating neurodivergent characteristics with malicious intent.
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