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Oliver Willis Profile picture
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6 Jan, 5 tweets, 1 min read
If Dems win, the Deep State Ballot Printing Team gets the next two weeks off, per direct orders from Soros and Obama
Are we gonna use all these Loeffler/Perdue ballots we've got in the back of these mysterious black vans as confetti for Bidens inauguration or what?
I need everyone who flew in from out of state as a phony Warnock/Ossoff voter to PLEASE submit your travel receipts for reimbursement no later than Friday. Payroll is adamant about this. Some of you know what a pain in the ass the Arizona stuff was last November.
Damn it we specifically told everyone where the Hearse rendezvous was in last Friday's email. We gotta get those dead voters across the state lines PRONTO.
Need an environmentally friendly way to dispose of all these excess Warnock/Ossoff ballots we printed up.

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More from @owillis

Oliver Willis Profile picture
6 Jan
one black president.
one.
and they lost their damned minds.
one!
one in a 219-year chain of events.
just one!
and they totally lost their shit.

*one*
and it was the least scary one. like, on purpose, we picked the black guy who loans you a lawnmower and not the guy who's going to remind you that racism is pretty bad and systemic, and yet, the one -- with the fancy degrees and the slick way of talking.

and they still lost it!
the dude you lost your *minds* over.
this dude.
him.
the dude with the *helmet*. Image
Read 5 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
6 Jan
I've watched 4 seasons of the crown and I was ready and she just does this...
I just saw a headline about the Earl of Snowdon and my first thought was to curse @pattonoswalt because now I know who that is
Me: "oh the photographer who married princess Margaret and... fuckkkkk"
Read 6 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
5 Jan
republicans/conservatives just assume black people = danger, even in the nicest rich-ass parts of dc. racist trash.
its not like there arent some rough parts of dc, but its like these dinguses are walking through georgetown and cowering because the gangs from the warriors are after them.
and these dumb-dumbs would be equally shocked to find out some of the people in the richie rich parts of dc/md/va are...

black.
Read 5 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
5 Jan
you cannot stop the fetterman.
you can only hope to contain him.
props to pa for having a lt governor who would not be out of place at a "hell in a cell" match
WE TAKE YOU LIVE TO THE PENNSYLVANIA STATE HOUSE

*SOUND OF GLASS SMASHING, BASS LINE STARTS THROBBING*

"OH MAH GAWD, THAT'S LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR JOHN FETTERMAN'S MUSIC!"

"LEGISLATIVE BUSINESS JUST PICKED UP, FOLKS!"
Read 4 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
5 Jan
actually most americans live in a shared reality. its just that a percentage of it is deluded and the media caters to their whims instead of just utterly rejecting their fantasies.
im pretty well convinced the percentage of unhinged americans is the same as its always been. its just that cable news and social media give them a bigger voice.
you: its never been this crazy!

me:
Read 5 tweets
Oliver Willis Profile picture
5 Jan
I am getting daily tip sheet envy. Will people sign up to read my tip sheet of events that definitely did not happen?
SIGHTED: Fleet of Blackbird jets delivered to headquarters of Blacktifa, the militia formed via the union of Black Lives Matter and Antifa. Sources say purchase financed by benefactor George Soros.
CONSTRUCTION: Outgoing admin official Stephen Miller broke ground on his personal dungeon, located in a labyrinth below his Chevy Chase estate. Miller is said to be on the lookout for brown-skinned boys and girls to populate his hellscape.
Read 7 tweets

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