Tweet

Oliver Willis

6 Jan, 5 tweets, 1 min read

one black president.
one.
and they lost their damned minds.
one!
one in a 219-year chain of events.
just one!
and they totally lost their shit.

*one*

and it was the least scary one. like, on purpose, we picked the black guy who loans you a lawnmower and not the guy who's going to remind you that racism is pretty bad and systemic, and yet, the one -- with the fancy degrees and the slick way of talking.

and they still lost it!

the dude you lost your *minds* over.
this dude.
him.
the dude with the *helmet*.

america: you can have a black president

us: hoooray!

america: but he's gotta be safe. and kind of corny. not scary at all. like, the super safest guy. very safe.

us: *puts away malcolm x poster* fine. we pick this one.

america: we are now more racist and insane.

also lucky for us we dodged all the drama and uncertainty that would have happened if we picked a WOMAN to be president

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More from @owillis

Oliver Willis

@owillis

8 Jan

If Democrats always have to answer for the sins of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, real or imagined, Republicans should be saddled with the sins of Trump for decades.

No turning the page, no fresh start, no bygones. They own this crap. A pox over their door.

Democrats have stupidly let George W Bush off the hook. Don’t do this shit again . Ever. Fuck.

And no, “history” isn’t gonna magically do it. “History” is not some sentient being deciding good guys and bad guys. It’s up to people. Don’t let bullshit positivity about Trump go unchallenged. Not a word of it. Forever.

Read 7 tweets

Oliver Willis

@owillis

7 Jan

if i were white i think id be going to the cabin and yelling at cops without consequence all the time.

i imagine theres a concierge to show you the ropes, kind of like in that old snl skit. "this is your cabin. you dont have to wash your hands and every unit comes with a gender reveal explosion kit. heres a list of swears you can use with cops..."

"we know you have many choices of race, and we're happy you chose white."

Read 6 tweets

Oliver Willis

@owillis

7 Jan

His new default sitting mode. I’m so disrespected.

Well guarded window gap

Seriously though he’s doing it on purpose now

Read 7 tweets

Oliver Willis

@owillis

7 Jan

https://twitter.com/pklinkne/status/1347194478013112320

yeah def the first time aggrieved white people in america got violent 🙄

https://twitter.com/pklinkne/status/1347194478013112320

almost the entire history of this country is white people getting pissed off about shit. sometimes they got pissed off for good shit. but there's a lot of times they got pissed off in defense of heinous shit.

maybe we need to do a faq.

white people - its ok to get violently pissed off for being unfairly taxed by the crown. it isn't ok to get violently pissed off because the black guy became president.

Read 6 tweets

Oliver Willis

@owillis

6 Jan

If Dems win, the Deep State Ballot Printing Team gets the next two weeks off, per direct orders from Soros and Obama

Are we gonna use all these Loeffler/Perdue ballots we've got in the back of these mysterious black vans as confetti for Bidens inauguration or what?

I need everyone who flew in from out of state as a phony Warnock/Ossoff voter to PLEASE submit your travel receipts for reimbursement no later than Friday. Payroll is adamant about this. Some of you know what a pain in the ass the Arizona stuff was last November.

Read 5 tweets