Thread by @urbanbohemian

Feeling cute, still mad at cis gay white men, idk, might still be mad at them later.

For the straight folks out there, feel free to observe, but for a lot of you this probably isn't your lane, but just from my personal experiences, here's why a lot of people are mad about it.

Seems silly, right? Just a bunch of mostly white gay guys saying they'd let a white supremacist hate fuck them and expecting to get no pushback on that statement.

Your non-white gay friends see you and remember that, in most cases, you'd want to hit that before you even see us.

We shouldn't be surprised though, we see your online crushes and thirst posts. We see you fuckability rating the "White Chris Squad". We see your profiles saying how you "love guys with blue or green eyes" or "if you look like [insert popular white actor here] front of the line!"

And we see the other profiles, the ones that even you'd scowl at, the ones that specify non-white guys shouldn't even bother saying hello. We see the porn, the party fliers, the magazine covers, even the gay magazine covers that will put straight white men on before any gay POC.

We've been out to bars and parties where we're one of the few non-white people in the room. We've been equally ignored or fetishized. We've watched your uniform/cop fetishes. We've had to fight to get fetish spaces to even be inclusive. We've constantly had our concerns ignored.

We've watched you defend a white friend who was actively or casually racist, telling us they didn't mean anything by it, but really telling us that you'd prioritize their whiteness over our feelings. We've listened to you handwave away our comments to protect your comfort.

There are incidents upon incidents, that I'm certain a lot of people could talk about, and every single time it all comes rushing back. This isn't about seeing a random conventionally attractive dude that you know nothing about on the street or online and getting thirsty…

But we're watching a violent mob overtake the Capitol and y'all think that seeing some tall, white, bearded, hairy chested dude WHO IS RALLYING WITH A BUNCH OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS is worthy of saying, "I know exactly what he's all about and yet I totally would," even as a joke.

Then you wonder why people gave you a side eye, why they dragged you, why some of them - bless 'em - actually tried to reply to explain the problems with that statement.

But at the end of the day you won't see anything wrong with it, because you don't have to and double-down.

I said it before, as much as I miss seeing friends and going out during all this, I don't miss the microaggressions and overt racism at all that I get in a lot of spaces, but queer spaces especially. So, I'll be honest, the absence of that the past 10 months may be fueling this…

But one day we're looking forward to going out again and being around people, and I want to go dancing without someone assuming I'm the staff, or trying to compliment me by comparing me to food, or being worried that they're gonna drop a racist slur when I let my guard down.

I know why you defend what you see as just a throwaway tweet no one should pay any attention to. (I still remain baffled why no one just said sorry and deleted them.) I'm not confused by your actions at all. It's just really fucking depressing to be reminded of it ALL the time.

It makes me think that people who put BLM in their bios, tweets, dating profiles, etc. are just doing it for appearances sake. There's no thought put behind it, no attempt at empathy, to see things from the perspective of those who are hurting. Like the red ribbon, it's for show.

Thankfully, my queer friends encompass more than just cis gay white men, so I can avoid them completely when I need space to do so. Heck, "some of my best friends are white" and when they fuck up, they listen. And if they don't listen, I drop them. I don't announce it. They gone.

So if you're a cis gay white man mutual reading this thread and it made you feel a way, if you're bothered by how I feel about some really awful thing you did? Don't worry about it, I might already be taking steps to ensure you don't have to see anything I tweet ever again. 💖