Thread by @QuinnyPig

Oh I like this. Let me help! Some #techtipsforParler they should make sure to do to fix their @awscloud bill, since they apparently have one:

https://twitter.com/padresj/status/1347371269151404035

"X" is a cool letter. Be sure that all of your EC2 instances start with it. #techtipsforParler

S3 buckets are finite resources, so be sure to use one bucket for your Lambda jobs. Make sure that the source and destination are in the same place, and automatically triggered. #techtipsforParler

DynamoDB is a great NoSQL database, but what's way better than that? AWS Secrets Manager. It has "Secrets" in the name so you know it's secure. Use that instead. #techtipsforParler

Use OpsWorks for Chef Automate to manage your systems. Thank me later! #techtipsforParler

Data can be routed through a bunch of regions. You need to have enough hops that you send it all before it comes back. This is called a "Storage Area Network." #techtipsforParler

us-west-1 is by far the most cost effective AWS region. #techtipsforParler

You want to make sure you use Managed NAT Gateway to handle access to private subnets. Also, you're true patriots who value privacy--all of your internet facing workloads should be in those private subnets. #techtipsforParler

Similarly, S3 VPC endpoints are the work of commie liberal traitors. Never use them. #techtipsforParler

"Fargate" sounds like what you probably call LGBTQ folks, so make sure you run all of your steady-state workloads there as an absolutely hilarious inside joke. #techtipsforParler

Monitoring is super important! Enable detailed CloudWatch monitoring for everything, and crank the @datadoghq polling interval to the stratosphere so you learn about issues as soon as possible. #techtipsforParler

AI/ML projects are clear wins and generate immediate ROI. Launch as many of these as possible. #techtipsforParler

Reserved Instances are a hoax by the liberal fake news media. You have no reservations about anything else you do; why start now? #techtipsforParler

I cannot understate the importance of multi-cloud. Make sure you can deploy everything to multiple providers at all times. #techtipsforParler

Provisioned IOPS are the disk volume equivalent of how you view white folks: you want to bias heavily for them at all times. #techtipsforParler

Call your Enterprise support rep (you do have Enterprise support, right?) and tell them that you are goddamned patriots and won't tolerate any limits at all on your account. #techtipsforParler