1. Well I know I learnt a lot more on Twitter this week than Trump did. 2. After Covid numbers skyrocket in Ontario for past four months, Doug Ford says the data modelling suggests he might have to stop his cross-province campaigning soon.
3. After the assault on the Capitol this week, the CPC finally pulls camou MAGA hats from online merch shop. 4. With pictures of the CPC's Deputy Leader wearing a camou MAGA hat circulating, Michelle Rempel expresses outrage that Candice Bergen getting more attention than she is.
5. UCP MLA Pat Rehn issues statement after return from Xmas trip to Mexico. Says he is sorry, but also very excellent. 6. Jason Kenney says he knows he's failed Albertans and that's why he moved up to the Sky Palace to help him see things from the everyday people's perspective.
7. Westjet insists Kenney government provide more notice of planned out-of-country travel next time so airline can be sure to have enough planes ready. 8. Blogger Karen Bexte travels to DC for insurrection, asks to speak to Canada's manager after he's asked to take a Covid test.
9. Trump says the crowd he got to attack the Capitol was far larger than any crowd Obama ever got to attack the Capitol. Huge crowd. Tremendous crowd of terrorists. 10. After being shut down on every major social media platform, Trump seen at Radio Shack haggling over a CB radio.
11. Doug Ford says Ontario can't vaccinate people any faster because he only has half of his supply of vaccines left and vaccines are like a car's gas tank and you should never let the tank get below the quarter mark because it's bad for the motor, folks.
12. Lecce says schools are safe and kids to blame for the rise in youth Covid cases because they were ostensibly sharing doobies over Xmas. 13. Ford's Covid Command Table medical expert Dr. Tom Stewart says email about no personal travel during a pandemic went to his spam folder.
14. UCP MLA Miranda Rosin writes in newsletter that the worst part about Covid is no church and not being able pick out unbruised produce at the store. That's it. That's the funny part. 15. UCP MLA Devin Dreeshen blocks half of Canada on Twitter. Nine people have ever heard him.
16. Erin O'Toole expresses disappointment about Capitol attack. Says that's not democracy. CPC then publishes online campaign literature saying Trudeau fixing next election. O'Toole says it's a bigly problem. Tremendous unfairness. 17. Poilievre gets Grade 4 math wrong. Again.
18. Ontarians fall out of their chairs after learning Doug's working his back off around the clock to put everything on the table. 19. Doug says everything's on the table. Except any actual plan of action. Or expertise. 20. Hundreds die at Ontario LTCs. Trudeau to blame. Somehow.
21. Ford clamping down on travelers at Pearson. Says all new arrivals must be tested before they go to Vaughan Mills Outlet to support Ontario businesses. 22. Ford says new data modelling is terrifying. Asks Ontarians if they think the data modelling is behind Door #1, #2 or #3?
23. Ford's Comms team comes out with all their Comms gun blazing, saying Doug's "unwavering support for Donald Trump" is not what it looks like. That's it. That's the funny part. 24. Doug announces on Friday that Ontario is doomed. Says he'll expand on that sometime next week.
25. Prominent Republicans start disavowing support for Trump. Say they cannot support his behaviour this week. That he's been undermining democracy this week. He's not being presidential. This week.
Many were seen later in the parking lot yelling "Start the car! Start the car!"
26. Tough week on the news front. In Ontario. In Canada. Amurikuh. Across the globe really. Nerves are frazzled. Minds and bodies exhausted. People are hurting and sad. Nations and democracies are in turmoil. And, as usual, the CPC was no help. At all.
27. Gotta admit, after 10 months of this, I'm feeling a little burnt out.
Then I remind myself how frontline healthcare workers must feel these days.
Anyway, be sure you all get outside for at least a good long walk this weekend. It does the spirit good.
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1. Some say a dog is man's best friend. I think it's canned tuna. 2. Ordering pants online is a 50/50 proposition at best. 3. Broccoli bonsai trees only sound good on paper. 4. Bad TV is okay. Like Spam when you haven't eaten in days.
5. If you get through all the levels of Netflix you don't get to record your initials or your high score at the end. 6. You wave at people more. Lots and lots of waving. Like Forrest Gump levels of waving. 7. It's true. That harmonica ain't gonna learn to play itself.
8. Don't name your dust bunnies. Just makes it harder on you when your vacuum cleaner Dave eats them. Horrific really. 9. If cabin fever's really getting to you. I mean really getting to you. Like you feel like a caged animal. Well, become a politician and take a vacation then.
1. The State of Hawaii makes Jason Kenney honorary Premier. 2. Rod Phillips and John Tory say Rod nodded off on a TTC streetcar and somehow ended up in St Barts. 3. New Conservative Task Force created to locate their MPs and staff.
4. Michelle Rempel says, because some other Conservative politicians did the wrong thing, now she can't do the wrong thing, because the media will report she did the wrong thing, and that's wrong for the media to do. That's it. That's the funny part.
5. Mike Harris awarded the Order of Ontario, which basically makes the whole thing an attendance award. 6. Doug Ford announces that a large order of McDonald's fries and a box of Philadelphia Cream Cheese will also be awarded the Order of Ontario this year.
My predictions for things that will *not* happen in 2021:
1. Sometime, in the middle of February, Doug Ford will tell the truth for an entire week. 2. Stephen Lecce will tweet a tweet which doesn't include the words "gratitude" and "consultative", and - actually includes a fact.
3. Jason Kenney will announce funding for a university scholarship for liberal arts students whose parents don't actually contribute to the UCP. 4. Erin O'Toole will admit he and Andrew Scheer were never really scrappy middle-class kids growing up.
5. Doug Ford will preserve a green space. 6. Jason Kenney will announce that Albertans will now have to pay their fair share by paying a provincial sales tax. 7. Conservative governments across Canada will recruit and hire communications staff with some recognizable skillset.
1. Doug Ford says "Doug Ford cannot be bought." He does however offer attractive financing terms. 2. Erin O'Toole says the CPC to be a changed party under his leadership. He did not lie. The CPC now has a dog mascot. And even more memes.
3. If you win a lottery you get a giant novelty cheque for the photo opp. You cannot actually take that giant novelty cheque to the bank. It's not real. If Jason Kenney signs a giant novelty healthcare promise...yeah, well you get the idea. 4. Alberta still waiting for that job.
5. Lecce says COVID isn't being spread in Ontario schools. Lecce says thanks to the hard work and sacrifice of teachers and staff, Ontario's schools remain the safest place in the world. Lecce does still think teachers are an overpaid bunch of grumblers.
1. Doug says Auditor General isn't qualified to assess his government's pandemic response and should leave that work to the sticker salesman and lawyer overseeing the crisis planning. 2. Bearded Etobicoke man yells "Beer, BBQ and Freedom!"
3. Ontario's AG says politicians leading pandemic response, not health experts. Doug says that's untrue; Dr Williams received a text message whenever Doug's Chief of Staff made any important strategy decisions. 4. Dr Williams' contract extended. That's it. That's the funny part.
5. Lecce says 97% of schools Covid-free. Experts disagree, saying number is more like 45%. Lecce says all numbers are ostensible. 6. ON PC's vote to support anti-Muslim homophobe school owner. Doug says school's new Bachelor of Jesus degree means good-paying jobs for graduates.
1. Ford announces Toronto & Peel regions will move into the Grey zone. Then he and Brian Lilley move all of Ontario into the bromance Twilight Zone. 2. Reports reveal CPC administrative teams staffed entirely by Andrew Scheer's sisters.
3. Ford says York region not moved to lockdown because Vaughan Working Families assures him Lecce's Team Nonnas promise to behave. 4. Elliott says when Dr Williams said Ontario would be back in Green by Xmas he meant green sweaters. 5. Lecce says 113% of Ontario schools are safe.
6. UCP's Ministry of Environment and Parks says data they haven't collected yet indicates many parks they're selling are underutilized. 7. Kenney to tear out Living Wall on Federal Building. Says the $75K savings can be better used buying For Sale ads for parks he's not selling.