He was a cheat
The first time she discovered he was cheating on her was two weeks to their wedding
She was four months pregnant and had woken up that morning with the intention of paying him a surprise visit at his crib in Magodo
He was still sharing a flat with three of his
friends at the time
She got to Magodo at about noon
The apartment was right behind the main house and the gate was almost always locked
Usually she would call call him once she got to the gate so that he would come and open the gate for her but on that fateful day, she met the
gate ajar
Someone was driving out of the compound and the big gate was wide open
She walked in, climbed the stairs to the boys quarters and met the door open
She walked in and found them (Her man and a lady) doing it
It was the last thing she expected to see, especially because
he had never given her a reason to assume he was unfaithful
The good news she wanted to share with him evaporated immediately
She found her feet trembling and her knees buckling
It was a terrible experience
The lady saw her first and shrunk from him in shock
He looked at her and
quickly rolled off the bed
Her first thought was to walk away and not to look back, she didn't see any other sensible option
Her people will say when you put a foot in the river and a crocodile pounces on it, you don't need to put the other foot in the river before you know you
are doomed
She had walked halfway towards the main gate before he caught up with her
She couldn't explain how she walked so fast
She wanted to run as fast her legs could carry her but she had to settle for speed walking in her condition
He touched her elbow and told her to calm
She didn't think twice about what she did next
She had wanted to do it from the moment she saw them
She had told herself if he ever touched her again she would do it
She gave him a dirty slap
The slap stopped him in his track
She continued to walk towards the gate
He turned back
and walked back to his crib
He didn't call or text for three days
She wanted to call the whole thing off but she lacked the courage to do so
She knew he was waiting for her move
As far as he was concerned it was over
She kept telling herself breaking off the relationship would be
giving him what he wanted
They had been together for four years
Since she was in her final year in the University and he was rounding off his MBA programme on their campus
He was a chartered accountant
She was studying Economics
It was love and a lot of rubbish at the start
she waited for him to become mature, to propose to do what other reasonable and sensible men do with their girlfriends
He didn't
He wasn't a cheat (As far as she knew) but he wasn't also a serious minded guy who wanted to build a future with her.
She left him briefly when she was
posted to the East for her NYSC but none of the guys she met that year could hold a candle to him
He was her stitch in hand
She wanted to change him but she couldn't find a better replacement and she didn't want to end up empty-handed
She was already twenty-seven when she met him
and she had a lot of catching up to do
He had this thing he does
Asserting that she was her own woman and he was not interested in controlling or owning anyone
Other ladies complain about having possessive, jealous, domineering partners
Her man insisted he was a feminist and was
all for women doing their thing by themselves and for themselves
The problem with that was a strange loop of freedom that hung around them as a couple
If she introduced him as her boyfriend, he doesn't mind but he never introduces her as his girlfriend
He never asks her where she
was or who she was with
He says she is her own person and doesn't have to answer to him
It always made her very uncomfortable because things around them was always weird
She had to operate on a lot of assumptions because he defined nothing the way others did it
He was a strange
guy
A week after she caught him with the other lady, she asked him to meet her at an eatery
He showed up
She asked him what he wanted
As usual, he told her he would go along with anything she decided
She knew he wouldn't beg or even apologize, she wasn't expecting him to but she
really wanted to know if his infidelity was just a one-off or something she would have to deal with all her life
She needed to ask but she didn't know how
So she said "Will you be cheating on me again? If you are it is best you call this marriage off now because I can't cope with
such"
Again she knew he would never take responsibility like that!
He didn't propose until she got pregnant and cried her eyes out with worry
He was too laid back and unassuming
It had always been a problem
She should have walked away but she didn't
She didn't know how to start
all over
Her mother told her every married woman had to contend with one thing or the other
He was not the assertive type
His nature has both its positive and negative sides
The only thing she didn't consider was the fact that he could cheat
By nature, he doesn't chase skirt but
it seems if a skirt chases him, he would not be assertive in saying NO!
That was the aspect she didn't see until two weeks to the wedding
He didn't call off the wedding
She didn't call off the wedding too
Two weeks after she caught him cheating, she said "I do"
He said "I do too"
The challenge became very prominent after they got married
He could handle himself very well around passive and mildly tempered women but the moment as an assertive, domineering, and/or aggressive woman comes into his life, everything goes out of order
He was not a weakling, he
was just weak around some certain kinds of women.
When he got a new boss at the office, he started coming home very late because he didn't want to displease "Madam"
He wasn't sleeping with the woman but he would lie awake all night worrying about many things because he didn't
want the madam finding fault with anything he does
The madam's opinion mattered a lot to him
When the madam was transferred and he got a male superior at work, things became better
He slept better, treated her and their daughter very well, and was less irritable
The same pattern
held sway at the church
Aggressive ladies (like the pastor's wife) can get him to chair a committee or visit some members even when it is not convenient for them as a family
He simply can't say no to assertive women
It was irritating for her and she tried very hard to protect him
from such women but she cannot follow him everywhere
in 2017, he traveled to the UK for a fellowship programme with a University
It was a global grant sponsored programme
Somehow he got caught up in a torrid affair with his boss
He stayed in the UK for 3 years
She knew something
was going on but she had no proof
He kept telling her the fellowship was extending his contract
After two years of arguments and bitter rows, she turned to God
She told God she wanted her husband back home
She had just delivered their second child before he traveled
She was tired
In August 2020, her husband returned home
Three weeks later, she received a package from the UK
Her husband's boss sent her pictures and other proofs that they had been together
The package was titled "Just for your information"
She knew what the woman wanted to provoke her to do
A week after she got the package, she presented it to her husband
She wanted him to see that his weakness was hurting the whole family and to take heed whenever she told warned him off certain kinds of women
Her husband apologized & they both started seeing a Marriage Counsellor
PS: I do not write stories to entertain or become popular
I wanted to stop writing in 2021 altogether because I don't have the time anymore
You are not under any compulsion to read
If you do read, however, please keep big English and foul opinions away from me
Read and be blessed
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Rather than cheat on your spouse, the honourable thing to do is quit the marriage
I know many people would rather want to eat their cake and have it, in principle, people who do that are scums and cheats
Either you are the husband or the wife, you have a duty to yourself to stay
faithful to your spouse regardless of the circumstances or the situation you find yourself in
If the situation is such that you cannot cope with the relationship, the best thing to do is walk out and stay out.
A lady came to my office claiming her husband was a two minute man and
the lack of sexual satisfaction had almost driven her into the street in search of a lover
She hadn't done anything yet...
She was just considering it because of the frustration the quick ejaculation issue the husband has was causing her
She made sure she dragged her husband to
She walked into my office on a Sunday Morning at about 11:15AM
She said she wanted me to pray for her two teenagers
She looked so young and modern with multiple earrings adorning her ears and a short crisp (tainted) haircut and a short (Not indecent) gown
She was ushered in right
after the service
She said a brother in church insisted she had to meet with me for prayers
She didn't look like someone who had ever seen a night all her life but appearances can indeed be deceptive
She told me she was facing a very strong challenge in her marriage
Her husband
of over 18 years suddenly packed his bag and left the house he built claiming she was trying to kill him
He walked out of his home
He went back to his Father's house and started staying with his mother
It was a puzzle
The wife claimed it was demonic manipulation
She said his
What she wanted to do was spice things up
Her marriage was too boring, too predictable
Sometimes it takes a lot of efforts for her husband to get it up and for him to last long enough for her to get there was also a herculean task
They used to be very sexually compatible but
after thirteen years in the love boat, the "see finish" syndrome crept in
She felt she was no longer exciting him
He had settled into life as a man and was no longer trying to do "playboy" with her
It was a terrible sinking feeling for her
A terrible omen about the close of a
season of excitement and joy
She started reading books about prolonging the fun
It didn't start with the book though
It started with an old secondary school friend
He chatted her up and somehow their conversation took an exciting turn
It was the last thing she expected after two
A case was brought to me. A woman working with a multinational whose husband’s business was not doing well. The man returned from the UK with money and bought four trucks to start logistics business but within two years a series of bad decisions killed his business. He refused to
get a job. The wife was working with A bank and later moved to the multinational. She was paying the rent and maintaining the cars. She had money and thought as long as she was footing the bills, they should be fine. The husband stopped sleeping with her somehow. She said she
couldn’t say how that happened.
He would consider the fact that she had been working all day and shouldn’t be warming his bed at night and therefore restrain himself from making sexual advances. She felt since she was putting al the money on the table she shouldn’t be begging
Christianity is the life of God in a human person by Jesus Christ.
Being a Christian doesn't mean I have decided to change my ways and live a good life...
If it is about you changing your ways by yourself, you can do that anytime and you don't need to become a Christian at all!
Christianity is accepting the gift of God (Jesus) as your Lord and saviour and receiving his Spirit (Holy Spirit) in your spirit willingly
You become one with His nature and He becomes the Lord of your life
I have met people who turned their lives around by their own effort, most
times, such people become self-righteous and insufferable.
I know a professor who stopped smoking by his own self-discipline, whenever he talked about other people suffering from addiction, he called them weak ninnies!
He was seen as lacking compassion and empathy and many people
It began as a harmless banter
He was married
She was single
He was the Acting Head of Public Relations in his company
He had assumed he was going to be given the role based on his performance
Suddenly he received a memo that the company had employed a Head of Public Relations and
He had to answer to her
He told himself the organization didn’t want to give the youth a chance
He assumed they recruited someone older and more he experienced
He was doing a fantastic job and he knew it
A few days later, his boss resumed and he was shocked
His boss was a lady
A lady who was five years younger than him
He didn’t know what to think
Was it a “We need more female in this organization” thing or a measure of how the management saw him?
He had no problem answering to the lady but he had a problem with nepotism
He was not sure she was brought