Here's another stream of consciousness thread about something I normally don't want to talk about. How does it feel to know that powerful nation states want you dead? What kind of thoughts do you have to process and get comfortable with?
It doesn't feel like a death sentence, at least not in the short term, because I'm not cynical about my security and I take precautions seriously, and because Norwegian security services have been exceptional. But while it doesn't feel like a death sentence it's a possibility.
You start to think, how will they do it? When, and where? Will it be a bomb - I'd hate others to be hurt on my behalf. A bullet - that's fast, but you don't get to say goodbye. Will it be poison - you get to say goodbye but your loved ones suffer the pain of seeing you waste away
Every moment with your loved ones becomes precious because you can no longer take it for granted. Every moment denied with your loved ones (such as travel restrictions because I'm Palestinian) becomes far more painful than they already are.
Now I've bummed myself out so end of thread. But you know what, if they don't want me dead then I'm not doing my job. Some things are truly worth our lives.
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