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David Burge Profile picture
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25 Jan, 6 tweets, 2 min read
Hear me out on this: add a button to let any Twitter account shut down any other Twitter account
Think of it as the world's biggest dodgeball game
Just think of the money twitter could save if they outsourced banning to us, and fired their vast army of 22 year old highly concerned problematicians. Their stock price would quadruple overnight
400 MILLION ACCOUNTS ENTER, 1 ACCOUNT LEAVES
make it happen @jack, you coward
f*** that, whoever bans the most other accounts before getting banned wins. This is the land of wolves now
Why eliminate the element of stealth? I would prefer that blowhard garbage bluechecks never know that they were banned by a secret ninja rando with 0 tweets and 2 followers

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
28 Jan
They can always retrain to be solar technicians
Now that Melvin Capital is wiped out, it's time for Wall Street Bets to take on the Big 5:

Swirly Partners
Dutch Rub Ventures
Wedgie Capital
Wet Willie Associates
Noogie Asset Management
Most of all, it's time to finally crush Rampit Capital and Allegra Budenmayer, who I've been warning you about for over 2 years. #DestroyRampit

Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
27 Jan
The finest automobile ever created, a 1932 Ford coupe (a/k/a Little Deuce Coupe). Right hand steering, fender marker lights, and license plate suggest photo was somewhere in the UK (hat tip @MichaelBarger1) #DavesCarIDService

*people debate what was the first muscle car, and IMO it was the 1932 Ford. Smallish, low price car with hot engine, it was the first mass produced V8 and affordable to the average Joe. Today it remains the most desirable base platform for hot rodding.
other candidates for title of First Muscle Car:

49 Oldsmobile Rocket 88
55 Chrysler 300
61 Chevy Impala SS
64 Pontiac GTO

Most people say SS or GTO because of the deliberate high performance package branding strategy.
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
26 Jan
A Lincoln Project we can all get behind
*under construction by my pal @Plowfink. 2 more Lincoln Projects happening in Austin
For everybody replying "gonna drive me to drinkin' " here's the genuine article, owned & built by Charlie Ryan who wrote and recorded Hot Rod Lincoln in 1955
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
20 Jan
After four years of an absurd insane clown show in Washington, it will be refreshing to return to a regular insane clown show
I prefer my insane clown shows to have gravitas
Personally I find Joe Biden's unequaled track record of doing nothing to be his most endearing attribute
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
19 Jan
Vol fans can now use the bags as headgear
Coach Costanza releases statement
instead of coach search maybe they should start a groundskeeper search
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
19 Jan
1. Defender
2. Qix
3. Pong
4. that's all I know
I'm not exactly a video game buyer, but $200 million budget immersive photo realistic graphics have zero appeal to me. Give me something flat, stupid and visually abstract like Tetris
My basic rule for video games: if there are more than 2 dimensions or characters or things with faces, I'm out
Read 12 tweets

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