Thread: Humor!
Ok enuf of Tactics & Higher Strat ...
Here's a bit of Humor with a wicked notty touch ...๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Feeshly Stolen from @aniltalwar2 's FB wall ...

Hilarious!

Some days ago, I came to know a girl on the Internet. No Not Honey trap, Real and Just Beautiful ...

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2.
After some chat, I felt that we were connecting at a deeper level.

Yesterday, she asked me to visit her house and said, "My husband is on a business trip, and I'm alone at home."

I was very cautious and asked, "Will your husband suddenly come back?

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3.
She said, "No, but just in case he does, you just say that you are from URBANCLAP and that your company sent you to clean the house.

And then, clean the glass or something. Anyway, the Pongal festival is coming.

My husband won't suspect a thing."

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4
Fast forward,
I was at her house. And what a big coincidence - Not even minutes in the house, her husband appeared back!

And I hadn't even touched her hand yet...!

So I had to be quiet and pretend to do the cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the kitchen and the floor.
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5.

And also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathrooms. All the while, her husband and her were on my head giving all kinds of ridiculous instructions.

When I finally finished and was about to leave ...

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6
Husband asked, 'How much?"

Even before I could utter a word she said, "I have already paid the company."

On the way home, I kept thinking about the whole saga. The more I thought about it, the more i said DAMN ive been had!

Cleaners are Hard to find, beware of new scam.

โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข

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More from @RaveenKr

30 Jan
Thread Political Humor
Be warned - Long.

NEVER Cross swords with a Street-Fighter looking for a Good Skirmish ...
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚

When George Fernandas had the last laugh in Parliament!!

The year 1998.
BJP was single largest party and NDA was the strongest alliance in Loksabha ...
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2
Vajpayee was PM. Confidence motion was before the house. Congress & CPM had joined hands to vote against NDA govt.

Leaders of both parties were sitting together & attacking BJP NDA.

Whenever Congress leader spoke, the CPM leaders were thumping the desks and vice-versa.

๐Ÿ‘‡
3
Whenever a leader from NDA was attacking Congress, leaders from CPM counter attacked fiercely. All 'secular' forces were united to dethrone the Vajpayee government.

Veteran leader George Fernandez rose to defend Govt.

He rose & said " Speaker sir ...
๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 13 tweets
29 Jan
Abide With Me ...

Henry Francis Lyte, c.1847

Abide with me, fast falls the eventide
The darkness deepens Lord, with me abide
When other helpers fail and comforts flee
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me

๐Ÿ‘‡
2.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see
O Thou who changest not, abide with me

๐Ÿ‘‡
3.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness
Where is death's sting?
Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me

๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 7 tweets
29 Jan
In the ongoing grim scenarior some Mil Humor to clear the air!
Courtesy a sr colleague @aniltalwar2

Thread:

Like ALL long jokes the punch line is deliberately in the End.
So patience me folks!

"Sorry Sir, im Kinda New at THIS" ...

Now read on
๐Ÿ‘‡
2.
This reminds me of a Cdr who was pissed as hell when he was likewise stopped & checked ...

Years ago, Marines were tasked to man and guard the gates at most Naval & Marine bases.

At the Marine Air Station at Miramar, in California ...

๐Ÿ‘‡
3.
And it was common to assign relatively jr ranked Marines, often recent graduates from Marine boot camp in San Diego such duties. At random times, Gate guards were ordered to do a 100% ID card check of every occupant of every car. This was simply a security training ex.

๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 5 tweets
24 Jan
A an interesting story from Netaji's life with a linkage to today ...

In 1910, two young men had met Revered Swami Brahmanandaji, the First president Ramakrishna Math & Mission - Subhas & Nirmal.

Both the young men expressed their ardent desire to become monks of the Order.

๐Ÿ‘‡
2/
However, while the Satyadrashta in Swami Brahmanandaji accepted Nirmal's candidature to join the Order, he declined & forbade Subhas Chandra Bose, saying he had to accomplish great work by staying outside the Order.
3/

Nirmal went on to become Swami Madhavananda, the Ninth president of the Order, while we all know what happened to Subhas Chandra Bose.

๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 5 tweets
24 Jan
Posting a old favourite Tale of mine from the Wild Wild West -
Be warned this thread is LONG.
But all Good things take time!

'The Old WOMAN & her MULE'

On a warm dusty afternoon, a wizened OLD WOMAN slowly trudged up to a Saloon and tied her old mule to the hitching post.

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2/
As she stood there, brushing the dust from her face and clothes, a young GUN-SLINGER stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and whisky in the other. He took one looked at the old woman, laughed and said "Hey you OLD BAG have you danced before?"

๐Ÿ‘‡
3/
The Old Woman looked up at the Gunslinger & spoke in a tired voice "Nah! i neva did dance, neva really wanted tuh"
By now a crowd had gathered as the Gunslinger grinned & said "Well you ol'Bag, You're gonna dance NOW!" & started shooting at the grnd near the woman's feet.
๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 9 tweets
24 Jan
Thread #TractorJamboree

A purely 'Mathematical' visualisation by
@Harishekhawat83

๐‘ซ๐’๐’'๐’• ๐‘ด๐’Š๐’”๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐‘จ๐’Ž๐’‚๐’›๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’“๐’‚๐’„๐’•๐’๐’“ ๐’“๐’‚๐’๐’๐’š

One of the most amazing things about these agitators is their healthy disregard for LOGIC & REASON!

๐Ÿ‘‡

m.timesofindia.com/india/police-gโ€ฆ
2/
As well the urge to present credible propositions.

Fortunately for them, much of their FB & SM/media support base are gullible/consumed by #ModiHatred sentiment not to question the claims. I am one of them.๐Ÿ™ƒ

So now I look forward to the hugest ever tractor rally.๐Ÿ™ƒ

๐Ÿ‘‡
3/
According to this report, in The Hindu two lakh tractor trolleys will take part in the rally. My mind boggles. Length of typical tractor is 2.9 m. Add a trolley att - 2M. Safe to assume a 3M intra tractor gap, max speed being 30 kmph .
This => 8 M per tractor.
๐Ÿ‘‡
Read 5 tweets

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