THREAD: Here are 8 principles to successfully navigate disorder (this is hard to do!) that I've observed over the last few years coaching executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes.

On sustainable success, performance, mental health, and career advice:

Stop Resisting What Is Happening

Resisting change and disorder may feel good in the short-term but invariably leads to distress in the long-term. To work through a challenge you've got to engage with it. Not what you want. Not what you wish. But what is actually happening.
Focus On What You Can Control, Don't Worry About What You Can't

There's a difference between worrying about a situation and taking productive action to influence it. Whenever you catch yourself doing the former, use it as a cue to do the latter. Helps both you and the situation.
Nail Daily Habits

Move your body.
Do what you can to eat well.

Nailing these fundamentals supports physiological and psychological strength. If you feel guilty or indulgent for doing these things, don’t. They are the foundation that supports everything else you do.
Use Routines

When it feels like the ground underneath you is shaking, having tried and true routines provides a source of stability and predictability. This can be as simple as your daily walk, morning cup of coffee, meditation practice, or evening book-reading time.
Stay Connected

Study after study of resilience points to benefits of community. During periods of disorder there can be an urge to shut down and isolate. Do what you can to resist this urge. Odds are many other people are feeling the same way as you. We are stronger together.
Combine Strength with Flexibility

Flexibility without strength is instability.
Strength without flexibility is rigidity.

The goal is to be somewhere in the middle. You want to be able to adapt to some things but also willing to push back against others.
Respond Not React

Holocaust survivor and philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Think 4 P's to help: pause; process; plan; proceed.
Show Up, Get Through, and Worry About Meaning on the Other Side.

Research shows that we look back on challenging periods in a much more connected and meaningful light than we experience them. Sometimes nothing makes sense until you get to the other side, and that’s okay.
I'll be sharing more observations and insights like this regularly.

I post threads 2x/week like this. If you want more no-nonsense content on performance, mental health, and sustainable success, you can give me a follow.

See my past threads here:

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More from @BStulberg

25 Jan
THREAD: Here are 10 insights I've learned over the last 5 years coaching executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes.

On sustainable success, peak performance, and career advice:

You've got to put yourself out there. You can't be the person who comes off as too cool to care but is actually just afraid.

Caring deeply makes you vulnerable. Why? Because there's a good chance things don't go exactly your way. But caring deeply is also the key to a rich life.
Trying to be "balanced" does not work.

When you care deeply about something it draws you in. That's the point. You don't need to force some kind of proportionate allocation of your life.

Aim for the self-awareness to PRIORITIZE and CHOOSE how you spend your time and energy.
Read 12 tweets
14 Jan
7 resilience factors:

1. Strong community
2. Ask for help when you need it
3. Rest when you're tired
4. Get going—mood follows action—when you're stuck
5. Patience—can't force turn-arounds
6. Self-compassion (hard to be human)
7. Tragic optimism (this sucks, but here's hope too)
1. Strong Community

The people around you shape you. We are all mirrors reflecting onto each other. Quality over quantity—think about having a few people who you really trust and know that can keep you grounded when you soar and provide a cushion when you fall.
2. Ask For Help When You Need It

There is this misnomer that resilient people are super strong on their own. But in reality, they are super strong because they understand when they need help and they are not hesitant to ask for it.
Read 8 tweets
30 Nov 20
Sustainable peak performance rests on a foundation of pretty basic principles. Once those are nailed—simple, not easy—there is lots of luck, uncertainty, and changing tides. Most of a coach's job becomes walking the path with the person.

(Short thread on coaching.)
First and foremost, you want to help the person develop both knowing and, more important, CONSISTENT DOING of key skills and principles. The knowing part is easy, the consistent doing part is hard. Coaching is about teaching and then providing gentle nudges to keep executing.
A good coach also helps the person see what they don't otherwise see. Lots of highly driven people are so focused on what is ahead that they can miss important things on the side of the road. A coach points out those things, and then discusses which of them should be addressed.
Read 8 tweets
11 Oct 20
If you benefit from the information and practices I offer please retweet, share, and follow along for more.

I'm doing my best to be a signal amidst the noise.

The secret is there is no secret.
Stress + rest = growth.

(Short thread.)
Secret is there is no secret:

Move your body.
Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—and keep going anyways.
Sleep when tired.…
Stress + rest = growth.

- Too much of former not enough of latter you get illness, injury, burnout.
- Too much of latter not enough of former you get complacency, boredom, stagnation.

Pursue just-manageable challenges. Make sure there is some space in between. Adjust as you go.
Read 7 tweets
30 Sep 20
Secret is there is no secret. 13 rules. Modern science and ancient wisdom.

Eat whole foods.
Build community.
Care deeply.
Hold pain tenderly.
Give help.
Get help.
Stay on path.
Fall off path.
Get back on path.
Be patient.
Accept what is—keep going anyway.
Sleep when tired.
1) Move your body

Aim for at least 30 minutes every day. More is better. Walk. Run. Lift weights. Dance. Garden. If possible, do some of this outdoors. Whatever you do, don’t try to be a hero. Start small. Consistent effort compounds over time. Inertia works in both directions.
2) Eat whole foods

Do what you can to avoid stuff wrapped in plastic. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Pick one to three habitual eating patterns that aren’t great and upgrade them. Unless you find one that works for you AND fits the lifestyle you want, ignore diets.
Read 9 tweets
23 Sep 20
8 Principles to Navigate Periods of Disorder.

1. Stop Resisting What's Happening.
2. Focus On What You Can Control
3. Nail Daily Habits
4. Use Routines
5. Stay Connected
6. Think Adaptation
7. Respond Not React
8. Show Up, Get Through, And Make Meaning On Other Side

1. Stop Resisting What Is Happening

Resisting change and disorder may feel good in the short-term, but invariably leads to distress in the long-term. You’ve got to engage with what is in front of you, and wisely—which is what the following principles emphasize.
2. Focus On What You Can Control, Do Not Worry About What You Cannot

There is a difference between worrying about a situation one the one hand and taking productive action on the other. Whenever you catch yourself doing the former, use it as a cue to do the latter.
Read 9 tweets

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