Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
#WhatsYourWhy

At the curb market by Grady

Them: "Hey, Dr. Manning!"
Me: "Heeeey!"

*air fist bump*

Me: "You doing alright?"
Them: "I'm making it."
Me: "Guess that's all we can do right?"
Them: "Exactly."

*pause*

Them: "Hey, I'm glad to see you feeling better."

Huh?

2/
Them: "Look like you was in a bad way this weekend from what I saw on social media."
Me: "Haaaa! Can't even front. . . I was, man."

In a bad way. A perfect descriptor.

In fact, I'd just used that very phrase with my teenaged son just an hour before.

Yup.

3/
Son: *frantic* "Mom, I can't find my computer charger! Where's yours?!"
Me: *calm* "I took it to work."
Son: *frantic* "What I am supposed to do?"
Me: "Are you testing?"
Son: "No."
Me: "Use your phone. Otherwise you in a bad way until I get home."

Mmm hmm.

But I digress.

4/
The thing about being in a bad way is that it isn't usually life or death. Just . . .annoying.

Yeah. That.

So me feeling achy and yucky after getting my 2nd dose of the #COVIDVaccine absolutely fits that.

Me: "Yeah. My immune system was wildin' out."

*laughter*

5/
Them: "Yeah, that took me to the edge. I was like, 'If it got the energizer bunny Manning like that? Hell naw!'"

I reached for my order from the counter & raised a hand at the shop owner. She nodded & waved back.

Me: "I love this place."
Them: "Me, too."

6/
We backed up to let another person order.

Me: "So what did you mean by 'the edge?'"
Them: *raising brows* "Huh?"
Me: "You said something took you to the edge."
Them: *shaking head* "You on your ass from that second shot, that's what."

*laughter*

7/
Them: "But I'm low key glad you shared it. 'Cause I needed to see that."
Me: *listening*
Them: "Like. . . . I don't know, man. How can a shot make you that sick when it's not giving you COVID?"
Me: "That's real. Honestly, I can see how people would think that."

8/
And I said that because it was true. Like, if I was a layperson and not in medicine? I'd wonder that, too.

Me: "I don't want to insult you since you've probably heard a lot about this. Have you heard about the immune response?"
Them: "Yeah, from your video!"

*laughter*

9/
Me: "Good ol' social media."
Them: "Yeah, and I get feeling tired and stuff. But you shouldn't get no fever from just the antibodies getting made. A fever means infection."

Their food came up behind them.
I pointed.

Me: "Your food."
Them: *grabbing it* "Aah thanks."

10/
It was clear from their body language that they wanted to talk some more. I was glad.

Me: "I usually think of infection when I see a fever, too. But it's some other stuff that can do it, too."
Them: *shaking head* "Not like THAT."
Me: "Uh huh!"
Them: "Nuh Unh!"

11/
*laughter*

Me: "Yeah, the whole immune response can set a lot of stuff off. It's pretty common to feel a fever and feel run down with some vaccines. Especially this one."
Them: "And that's why I'm cool on it."

*silence*

Me: "You walking back?"
Them: *nods*

We walk.

12/
Me: "So when you said you were on the edge--did that mean like at first you were thinking about it?"
Them: "I kinda was. But I keep hearing people feel bad from that second shot."

*walking*

Them: "Like you? You was on 10 on Friday. Freestyling, all that! But then . . ."

13/
They stopped & looked at me.

Them: "Tell the truth. You felt real bad?"
Me: *thinking* "Hmm. Like, bad like what? Like laying on my stomach in a ICU intubated bad? Nah."
Them: *narrows eyes*
Me: *shrugs* "I'm sayin'."

*pause*

Me: "Was it fun? No. But I'd do it again."

14/
Them: "You healthy. You'd probably be one of the ones who do fine. Or just give it everybody."

They laughed. I did not.

Me: "Some healthy folks have died. And got disabled. It's a crap shoot."
Them: "I hear you."

*pause*

Me: "You know what I'm MOST scared of?"

15/
Them: "Leaving your kids?"
Me: "Partly that. But. . . ."

I felt my eyes prickle with tears.

Me: "I can't have my parents bury another child. Like. . . .watching my parents mourn my sister? That was the worst thing I've seen in my whole life."
Them: "Damn."

Yeah. Damn.

16/
I sighed and started walking again.

Them: "That's real."
Me: "Yeah. It is."

*walking*

Me: "I felt bad for most of Saturday. Tylenol helped."
Them: "That's good."
Me: "I went for a run Sunday."
Them: "I saw."

*laughter*

I stopped walking and trained my eyes on them.

17/
Me: "I hope you'll reconsider."
Them: *staring* "I might, Dr. Manning."
Me: "Okay. And listen--the fever isn't from infection. It's from your immune system going hard. That's it."

*pause*

Them: "I work on Saturdays and Sundays. I can't be down for no full day."

18/
I froze in place.

Shit.

Them: *chuckling* "Yeah. They need to come out with one for folks that ain't got back up at home."

I felt my face growing warm. Even though it was cold outside.

Shit.

Me: "Uggh. I . .I'm sorry."

They shrugged.

19/

Them: "Look--I don't want #COVID neither. But it's crazy that the devil you feel like you know don't scare you as much as the one you don't."

*silence*

Me: "Sometimes I feel like we get our devils mixed up."

We parted ways shortly after that.

And that was it.

20/
Fear of the seemingly unknown.
No backup for the known chance of being "in a bad way"

and concern about how a vaccine can wreak such havoc.

These were their reasons.
Theirs.

And I have mine, too.

What we have in common?

Neither of us want #COVID.

#BlackWhysMatter