It slips around in my mind, dark and still, a shadow of a shadow, a void as black as nothing. I know it's within, always. Watching. Waiting. A hungry animal, stalking it's quarry. I don't know what it is, but in my final hour on this world, I know I will find out.
I catch it, now and again, in a mirror. Hiding in my skin. It wants to push out of it's prison. It wants a way to go out into this world, to find a host. You, possibly. Or your soul's companion. But don't worry, I won't allow that. I know how to control it. I think.
I'm losing bits now. Just an hour or so a day, not much. Things start to go fuzzy and soon it's just ... nothing. My doctor says it's my brain guarding against old trauma, avoiding things I still won't talk about. I know that's not it, though.
What is it doing with my body during that lost hour? What am *I* doing? Did you and I talk around two o'clock today? Did it call you? What did it say? What did it want? Can you avoid it, if what it wants is you? Would you try to?
Or would you just... allow it in. As you know you kind of want to, in dark, murky thoughts hiding from your conscious mind. As I did, long ago.

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More from @JustSayXtian

10 Feb
Listen, of course I wish that every Jew felt totally comfortable in all situations being openly, blatantly, visibly Jewish, but in the real world every one of us has had these situations, and portraying this as Schoen being 'self-hating' or hypocritical is ugly behavior.
If you're struggling to understand why wearing a yarmulke during a highly publicized Senate procedure would feel awkward, maybe consider that the procedure opened with a Christian prayer and a quote from the New Testament.
David Schoen is a terrible person, he's willingly taking on a terrible job, and in my opinion he's acting in ways that undermine the central ethical tenets of Judaism.
Read 4 tweets
4 Feb
Maybe ADHD is an adaptive trait that's useful for surviving in quasi-nomadic and early agricultural societies, but is extremely poorly suited to late stage capitalism.
Yes, late-stage capitalism is unbearably anti-human, and lots of people do self-medicate to get by, AND ALSO ADHD is a neurological condition that shows up on MRIs and affects metabolism, among other things. Image
Yes, I am technically "on speed" (it's not actually much like speed), but it only works because it doesn't affect me the way it affects neurotypical people - because I have a neurological condition that affects how my brain processes that chemical.
Read 7 tweets
3 Feb
I'm seeing a lot of "nothing has changed, kids in cages" outrage about this. I'm not saying it's awesome in every way, or that we shouldn't be paying attention, but this is VERY different from the Trump administration facilities and policies, and that should be made clear.
First off, this particular facility was opened specifically in response to the kids-in-cages camps, and was reported as being much more humane. This is the Biden administration re-opening the NOT sordid camp that closed under Trump because it was more expensive to operate.
The Carrizo Springs facility was converted from pre-existing housing for oil and gas workers. It's air conditioned, and it has rooms, not cells. This is kids in cheap dormitory housing, not kids in cages.
Read 15 tweets
3 Feb
I'm so tired of the artificial complexity of corporate jobs. 95% of what I do is completely unnecessary, just jumping through hoops and checking boxes instead of actually doing the thing. I want to be, like, an 18th century cobbler or something.
No SWIs, no naming conventions, no gantt charts, no alignment meetings. I buy leather and wood. I cut it into shapes. I make it into shoes. Done. Simple. You want a bigger shoe? No problem, I don't even have to file a P&L on that, I can just cut the leather a little bigger!
Oh, you wanted that shoe today? Too bad, it's going to take me until Thursday. That's how long it takes. That's when you get your shoe. I'm not even gonna request an expedite from some other department just so they can yell at me about following process. Come back on Thursday.
Read 5 tweets
2 Feb
Not that AOC needs me to back her up, but a few points here:
1) Yes, it is in fact an abuse tactic to insist that victims of violence "move on" immediately after the violence with no consequences for the perpetrator of that violence. It's not limited to sexual abuse.
What happened on 1/6 wasn't "legitimate political disagreement". It was an insurrection. Armed people forced their way into the Capitol with the intent of overturning a Democratic election by use of force, and by all accounts at least SOME of them wanted to kill political rivals.
The events of 1/6 are a matter of fact. There is video evidence. There are eyewitnesses, including and *especially* the people who's lives were under threat. Claiming that we can "disagree" about those facts is bonkers. They aren't a matter of opinion.
Read 9 tweets
2 Feb
The graphic design sucks.
The content sucks even more. Here's why, in an itemized list:
1) Jews aren't a race. The notion that Jews ARE a race was literally invented by the precursors to Nazis as a way to make their antisemitism seem more rational and scientific. James Lindsay, self-proclaimed not-prejudiced-guy is recapitulating this excuse for antisemitism.
2) Acceptance of racial stereotypes by average Americans has been DECLINING since 2001. Exactly contrary to what James Lindsay is claiming here, as Critical Race Theory has gained traction in mainstream academia, racial prejudice has decreased.
Read 12 tweets

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