Me: "I run @awscloud marketing. Sign this invoice."
AWS: "Wait what--"
Me: "'Disagree and Commit' on your own time. Sign here. Let's see... what's an AWS differentiator that most people miss? Global infrastructure; it's amazing. BILLIE! HIT IT!"

Thanks to the folks who made this possible.
First, thanks for budget and blocking AWS Legal go to to me, the head of @awscloud marketing. Image
Next we have @christopholies who owns @HumblePod for producing this monstrosity and keeping the "wait, are you serious" to a minimum. Image
The real winner is of course @LastWeekinAWS's own Billie the Platypus who ties the thing together. Image
The Everything CEO @ajassy is a delight to work with and has surprising rhythm. Image
It's clear Charlie Bell needs a Twitter account. Image
Same with Peter DeSantis. What's up with S-Team's aversion to Twitter, anyway? Image
Thanks to @IBMcloud for not taking my calls, so we had to get a special guest. Image
We remember Dewey's loss due to a cabling accident, and blindly approve @sundarpichai's expense reports for conference speaking about Google Box. Image
Neither Corey nor Todd are on Twitter. Unfortunate! Image
I've gotta say, @CroeserDaniel and @AdeemTheArtist are a pleasure to work with. They bring Billie to life. Image

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Corey Quinn

Corey Quinn Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @QuinnyPig

18 Feb
Ooh, that @awscloud account I spun up in a livetweet thread () sent me an email trying to swindle me with the free tier--but it has something new!

"Complete your profile" at the top. Okay! Image
Wait, what? @awscloud, you asked me all of these things when I created the account. And I answered them.

And you've apparently forgotten my email since then.

Suddenly my "I run AWS Marketing" gag sounds a lot more like I'm admitting something. Image
Man I hate these questions. I'm kinda "most of them" in one way or another. Image
Read 8 tweets
18 Feb
Welcome new friends! I do threads like this sometimes, so you might want to mute the thread:

Ask me anything about today's "Shitposter in Profile" issue of the NYT and I will answer in this thread.

nytimes.com/2021/02/17/tec…
Understanding who you're talking to is important. Actual journalists like @daiwaka don't just print any random crap you tell them. This isn't a gossip rag. If I say "Larry Ellison has no friends" they've gotta fact check that if they want to run it.

Yes. I swapped this out for "getting the obituary in @TheEconomist" on my bucket list. The next item is "my own @netflix special."

Read 22 tweets
12 Feb
I believe I owe the Twitter a thread on my "Rules of Shitposting." This is that thread.
It's in our Corporate Docs at the Duckbill Group under the more prosaic headline "Our Marketing Beliefs & Rules."

There are seven of them, and were collected by @mike_julian based upon the things I've said and we've ruminated upon.
Rule 1: Consent is required.

"The world is full of marketers and advertisers foisting things upon people without their consent. We don’t want to do that. Our marketing should always require consent."

I can't stress how important this is. The newsletter is confirmed opt-in.
Read 32 tweets
11 Feb
Oh my god.

@azure had a GOLDEN opportunity to pull a "we don't mine your data, we don't compete with you, WHO KNOWS what @GCPcloud and @awscloud do with your confidential cloud info!"

Instead they legit did exactly what their competitors don't, but we worry about.
An awful lot of people blaming @ubuntu here, but if AWS were willing to sell me a list of people who just had massive bill spikes? Sure I'd buy it!

If AWS would sell me information like that you would be best served by evacuating their cloud immediately.
Some speculation that the user spun up a @ubuntu image from a marketplace equivalent.

If you spun up my CoreyOS marketplace image and I did outreach like that, @awscloud would give me the choice of never saying that again, or being booted off of the marketplace. Trust matters.
Read 4 tweets
11 Feb
Thanks for coming to work with us here at Trashfire Inc. Let me show you around the exciting aspects of our corporate culture!
Okay, you have your badge? You sure you got your ID back from the reception desk? ...sorry, the badge reader is on the fritz again. Try scanning it a few dozen more times. You've almost got it. There you go.
Sorry more folks aren't here to welcome you. This quarter everyone's heads-down on an all-company initiative: writing our performance reviews so we can all fight for the coveted 3% raises that top performers get. We do this every year.
Read 24 tweets
10 Feb
"I hate my job, I'm going to quit and start my own company. How hard can it be?"

Oh so tremendously hard. A thread.
I said this a lot when I was consulting for an agency. "Hey they're billing the client WAY more than they're paying me; I should go direct and capture the margin!"

It's nice work if you can get it, except you can't.
Sales and marketing are actual skills. Customers don't generally fall out of the sky.

If you found a customer to go full time consulting with, you're basically an FTE without a raft of employee protections.
Read 41 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!