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Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

20 Feb

When you support autonomy development in children you give them a crucial gift: they learn HOW to think, not WHAT to think.

This is *essential* in a changing, complex world.

5 Keys --->

1. Honor the child for who they are (e.g. someone who loves drawing) rather than who you wish them to be (e.g. someone sporty.)

Children need to be truly seen.

2. Give a real choice wherever possible.

"Would you like to do this now or later?"

(Note: This is not the same as not setting limits, not establishing expectations or indulging every whim.)

Read 6 tweets

Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

28 Oct 20

We reach emotional agility through a series of tiny steps in everyday moments over the course of a lifetime.

Here's a thread about how you can start this journey today.

2/ Appoint yourself the agent of your own life and take ownership of your own development, career, creative spirit, work, and connections.

3/ Accept your full-self with compassion, courage, and curiosity.

Read 13 tweets

Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

29 Sep 20

Grit is overrated.

Yes, grit is extremely important, but so is adaptability.

It’s crucial to identify when to grit and when to quit.

If you’re making choices genuinely aligned with your values, there may come a time when the only smart thing to say is “enough is enough.”

2/

It’s often difficult to let go of a longtime goal without feeling like a failure.

But when you view yourself through a lens of self-compassion, this process of reevaluation and adaptation takes on a different light.

3/

Then quitting becomes the opposite of failure: a new opportunity to redirect your energy toward things of greatest importance to you.

Here are some questions to ask.

- Am I enjoying or finding satisfaction in what I’m doing—perhaps not every second, but overall?

Read 7 tweets

Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

10 Sep 20

1) Toxic positivity: When people default to bypassing difficult emotions in the service of forced positivity (fake positivity) is when 'toxic positivity' takes root.

2) Just like we can get stuck in difficult emotions, we can also get stuck in the idea of 'positive only' and this is fundamentally an avoidant coping strategy (a form of gaslighting oneself - or others.)

3) When we default to 'Just Be Positive' we close ourself off from learning from difficult emotions, understanding what values emotions are signposting, and to developing skills in dealing with these difficult emotions.

Read 5 tweets

Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

24 Aug 20

Are you a bottler or brooder? 💭

Everyone has a different method of coping, and some are more productive than others.

Sometimes we settle deeply into our negative feelings and struggle to get beyond them.

2/ Bottlers push emotions to the side and get on with things.

Bottling may look like:
- Suppressing emotions
- Forcing yourself to “think positively"
- Exerting an imagined control over an emotion

3/ Brooders can’t let go.

Brooding may look like:
- Constantly discussing an emotional situation
- Ruminating on an emotion under the guise of conscientious effort
- Losing perspective

Read 5 tweets

Susan David, Ph.D.

@SusanDavid_PhD

20 Aug 20

In the midst of this challenge, who do you choose to be?

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived a Nazi death camp wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

2/ When you start thought-blaming, there’s not enough space between stimulus and response, in Viktor Frankl’s terms, for you to exercise real choice.

3/ How do you react to difficult moments?

Do you rely on autopilot responses, saying something sarcastic, shutting down and avoiding your feelings, procrastinating, or walking away?

Read 6 tweets

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