People would be angry/bitter at uncles & aunties for not taking care of them but not with the parents who had them with no future plans. Your parents have 8 kids but your uncle with 4 kids is wicked because his children travel for summer when you haven't paid school fees. How???
"A friend's elder sister was married off at a young age so he could go to Uni. He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children & the other kids his parents kept having while he was at Uni (the youngest is barely 6).

It's a very long, lonely road ahead for him."
That said, Black Tax is EVIL!
It's not older/richer child responsibility. It's not love or duty. It's not parental enjoyment of the fruits of labour. It's EVIL.

This thing, where parents heap their heavy burden of other children on the first child or the child who earns more.
Now that you're done with school, you must take care of the family. Now that you're a banker, you must start paying fees for your younger ones. Now that you're this, now that you're that.
A first daughter has been married for barely three months. Her husband happens to be quite well-off. She asked her siblings not to make any demands from the man, as it won't tell well of their family.
But her younger sister believes she's wrong, and wants to go over her head and ask her brother-in-law for money. After all, the man is generous and will give if asked. Besides, he should be catering to his wife's family of five.
Not to mention siblings who become entitled, lazy and oh-so-demanding. A friend asked if a certain federal university in Nigeria charged 200k per session. That's what her younger brother asks for each year - minus books, practicals, exam fees, photosynthesis and parallelogram 😒
She's working her butt off abroad, slaving for ungrateful, thieving, lying twats! On the rare occasions that she complains, her parents throw out one proverb about how the head of a first child is for the younger siblings to stand on.
My heart breaks for the mostly oldest children in their forties and late thirties, who haven't had the chance to build investment portfolios, have reasonable savings, find love and marriage, buy themselves new things, build their dreams - because they're caring for younger ones.

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More from @eketiette

9 Jan
Single Man: "A woman whose bride price I paid can't control me."

Married Man: *reads post and shakes his head. He's running late but can't leave because Madam is wearing a new dress. He must zip it, patiently take 100 pictures of her from different angles and all must be fine*
Single Man: "My mother gave birth to nine of us. She didn't stress my dad. No pregnant wife can stress me."

Married Man: *goes out at 1:03am to buy party Jollof 'cos pregnant wife has been crying for it, while saying that he doesn't love her, their baby & she wants to die*
Single Man: "I'm self-sufficient and quite domestic. I don't need any woman's help."

Married Man:
"Honey, have you seen my brown socks?"
"Baby do you know where I kept my blue tie"
"Where are my car keys?"
"Sweetheart, when is the conference ending? I miss you so much 😭"
Read 5 tweets
28 Dec 20
BREAKING NEWS!

Uforo, Kagiso and Zawadi invade the UK from three different sides.
Zawadi, an accomplished General, arrives at London first. She sticks the Kenyan flag at the top of Buckingham Palace and claims it for Kenya.
On behalf of Nigeria and South Africa, Uforo and Kagiso claim Wales and Scotland respectively and share Northern Ireland.

English is declared too local a language; Ibibio, Xhosa and Swahili are now taught in schools. Pudding is abolished, replaced by Afang, nyama choma and phutu
African archeologists storm England on an expedition. They locate the tomb of Queen Elizabeth I at Westminster and hire white locals to raid it. They cart away her remains, back to Africa and stick them in a museum. British folk now travel to go see it.
Read 8 tweets
27 Dec 20
This isn't his first time. He's not the first man to do this. Many women in Nigeria have terrible hotel stay experiences.
Male receptionists do proposition female guests and give out their room keys/numbers without permission to male guests who like them.

To protect yourself...
* Travel with a portable door jammer.

* Wedge the door handle with a chair.

* Check for Peeping Tom holes in the walls.

* Leave the key in the lock.

* Ask a male friend or colleague to act as your partner.

* Don't be amiable or hostile. Brusque is better.
* Sleep with your pepper spray or Swiss army knife.

* Lock the door when in the bathroom. Female guests have walked out of bathrooms to see men in their rooms.

*Report any unprofessionalism to management.

* Leave a detailed review online so other women can avoid such places.
Read 5 tweets
24 Dec 20
"So, there is this young man I buy materials from in the market. I met him after my last customer showed me shege (I bought materials in a particular colour. The client wanted another colour and he refused to change it, even though I was a loyal and regular client).
Anyway, this new customer is very honest and has no wahala. Even as prices of fabrics have gone up, he tells me which oned are his old stock at old prices and the new ones with new prices.

I was surprised to find that he's a Hausa boy in a predominantly Igbo business.
When I asked, he told me that he came to Wuse Market as an Almajiri years ago and was doing wheel barrow work. He often carried load for one Igbo man. The man started relying on him to run errands and then asked him to do Nwa Boy under him.
Read 7 tweets
16 Nov 20
"Yesterday night at about 7pm, I was riding when I saw a dead body. Or so I thought.

The body was still, in the middle of a residential area in Garki, Abuja. That’s not a regular sight, so I stopped. There where people around the body.

“The man just slumped,” someone told me.
They didn’t know what to do; whether to touch him or leave him.

“There's a hospital on this street,” I volunteered.

“Let’s get a doctor,” said another person.

“Na BP,” someone whispered.

But nobody seemed ready to listen to me. Then something happened.
The dead man came back to life.
Just barely. His breathing was shallow, uneven, almost nonexistent.

"He’s alive!" we shouted.

Then confusion set in with different suggestions.

“Let’s take him to the hospital.”
“Let’s move him across the road.”
“Bring water, let’s pour on him.”
Read 12 tweets
13 Nov 20
On Project/Master's Thesis Defence in Nigerian Federal Universities - A thread:

"We had to pay hotel bills for the members of the panel. You could also offer sex, if your supervisor is the devil's apprentice. Transport money inclusive."
- Erdoo N.
"I decided I'd never have anything else to do with Nigerian universities, the day I saw people defending their masters dissertation presenting coolers of rice, garden eggs and crates of drinks to their supervisors. I legit thought someone was getting married."
- Bibian U.
"We we're told we'd pay 60k each, for both entertainment and logistics of external supervisor."
-Chiamaka O.

"We spent the night prior to my mother's defense at the University of Ilorin, cooking coolers of rice with assorted meat for the lecturers."
- Omekagu.
Read 15 tweets

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