let’s talk about heidi’s group text and how they got leaked, because ted seems to be under the impression there was one rat. as anyone in a group text knows, there is never just one rat
https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1364187059389427714
clearly what happened here is some kind hearted heart invited heidi into the group text without permission of the rest of the group, a sort of misguided act of neighborly grace. and obviously the rest of the group awkwardly sent their hey hi hello welcome heidi texts
and as everyone knows, once someone is in the group text you can’t throw them out. you have to freeze them out so they leave on their own, or make it awkward enough that the whole group text slowly goes dead
but as soon as heidi joined the original group text, a second side group text immediately formed. maybe it was just two people. “jesus can you believe lauren invited heidi wtf”. and then a third and fourth and fifth member of the original group gets invited into the new side text
soon you have an entire second group text that is identical to the first except without heidi cruz and the person who fucked up and invited heidi cruz, where they all go to discuss jesus ted cruz sucks and his wife still messages us
and then one day the cancun texts come in and the side chat says are you kidding me with this shit they’re going to cancun??? WTF??? rolling eyes emojis. it’s a whole thing. and someone says “hey...you know what would be funny...”
“you should send those texts to the new york times lol”... and everyone says lol lol yeah right. but then “wait what if we really did it lol”
and then you get the omg I dare you to do it. and finally the whole side group is crying laughing at the idea and they go through with it. so it wasn’t just one rat, ted. it was the whole side text you never get invited to that only exists to avoid hurting your feelings.
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