Pastors, let's talk about 'usual suspects' critics.
There are all kinds of critics, some of whom are an absolute gift.
Then there are the 'usual suspect' critics.
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There are all kinds of critics, some of whom are an absolute gift.
Then there are the 'usual suspect' critics.
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Helpful: they're in it with you, they're for the cause, they see things in you that you don't see, they help develop you as a leader.
Sometimes their feedback hurts, not because of them, but because we pastors tend to take our ministry so extremely personally.
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Sometimes their feedback hurts, not because of them, but because we pastors tend to take our ministry so extremely personally.
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Then there is the 'garden variety' critic. They don't have malice toward you, it just hasn't occurred to them that maybe you and your team have put 100 hours into the decision and looked at every angle.
Because they go to church, they think they know how to lead a church.
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Because they go to church, they think they know how to lead a church.
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They can be frustrating and test your patience, but are mostly harmless and will adjust to reality when presented with it.
Related to this is the 'Uninvolved I Have An Idea Guy.'
He's the cousin of the 'Maybe the Youyth Ought To' guy.
Don't get me started...
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Related to this is the 'Uninvolved I Have An Idea Guy.'
He's the cousin of the 'Maybe the Youyth Ought To' guy.
Don't get me started...
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The usual suspect critic is a different species altogether. No matter what you do, what you say, how much insight you give, how often you meet....
You will NEVER win them over.
And the reason you're anxious is you are still trying to reason with them.
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You will NEVER win them over.
And the reason you're anxious is you are still trying to reason with them.
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You know a usual suspect critic because:
1) They raise a litany of issues but as you try to resolve one, they shift and move to the next. You might meet for 2 hours but never resolve.
2) They weaponize and twist your words against you.
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1) They raise a litany of issues but as you try to resolve one, they shift and move to the next. You might meet for 2 hours but never resolve.
2) They weaponize and twist your words against you.
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3) Insight from you does not lead to change in them. ie, they don't move toward the truth.
4) They believe their own narrative over clear evidence.
5) They bring phantom mobs, not realizing they are the instigator.
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4) They believe their own narrative over clear evidence.
5) They bring phantom mobs, not realizing they are the instigator.
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Often:
6) They have some deep brokenness that they won't address, their own life is in rough shape and they need a scapegoat.
Almost every church, regardless of size, has a handful of usual suspect critics
You can't change them, you will never win them over
however...
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6) They have some deep brokenness that they won't address, their own life is in rough shape and they need a scapegoat.
Almost every church, regardless of size, has a handful of usual suspect critics
You can't change them, you will never win them over
however...
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You can stop feeding them, chasing them, needing them to understand/approve.
You can ask an elder or other leader to show them their actions.
If you keep meeting, explaining yourself, 'help me understand' then you're just arming them with more.
Today is the day to stop.
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You can ask an elder or other leader to show them their actions.
If you keep meeting, explaining yourself, 'help me understand' then you're just arming them with more.
Today is the day to stop.
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Let them be. Be at peace. Trust them to God.
There is a reason you are not allowed to feed wildlife.
Stop feeding the usual suspect. They will never change without a miracle from God.
It will lower your anxiety.
10/10
There is a reason you are not allowed to feed wildlife.
Stop feeding the usual suspect. They will never change without a miracle from God.
It will lower your anxiety.
10/10
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