Thread by @tonnie_wa_juja

Story Za Tonnie : NGUMI Ni JAMO 👊.

Shika mtoto wako mweke karibu nawe🎵
Beshte yako mnunulie beer pia naye🎵
Mtu akileta noma hapa pigana naye🎵

Najua Nonini ni mnoma but hio last part sikubaliani nayo, saa ingine mtu akileta noma si lazima upigane na yeye man,
Skiza Story...

Friday fulani nimetulia kejani, ni around 4 pm na niko rada kama fundi wa saa, normally hio masaa ningekua mlevi lakini nilikua nimesota mbaya so nikaamua tu kutulia kejani. Kidogo nikareceive call, Maxie , coolkid fulani najua kutoka highschool.

Mans akanishow anakuja kupiga sherehe juja naeza tokea containers atashika drinks. Pombe ya bure nayo hatujai kataa, lazima ningetokea. Hata kama sikua naenda majuu, nilihitaji passport, so nikaingia bafu teketeke nikaosha uso, makwapa, na mikono 😎.

Nilitamani nidunge njumu za Nike but I just couldn't do it, kiatu nilikua nayo ilikua tu converse fulani imechapa kama mat za baba dogo😭, haidhuru. Kabla nitoke nikapiga mswaki, hio singesahau, unaeza ongea mbele ya coolkids wadhani mnyambis yako na mdomo zimeswitch places bana.

Anyway, haraka upesi nikaelekea containers, kama kawaida pale sherehe ilikua ni major, yaani kila mtu ako na tumbler. Mans wangu bado hakua amefika, so ikabidi nimemchill. Five minutes later, jamaa wangu bado hajafika, I was getting impatient bana.

Ten minutes bado hafiki, ikabidi nimempigia. Kushika simu, jamaa kidogo adhani anaongea na coach wa Arsenali juu ya design nilikua nArteta. Mi nikamshow ile kitu mi hongoja pekee ni kurudi kwa yesu. Akanishow ndio amefika juja nimpee like 3 minutes.

Mi nimetulia, kidogo nikaskia commotion fulani, mbogi imeona gari haijaionekana containers. Jamaa aliingia anaspin BMW design mi husipin maBBW. Mi mwenyewe sikua naexpect, msee ameomoka kidogo ashike Rolls Royce na mi bado tu naroll na kina Loise, maajabu!

Mkononi ameshikilia Tusker Cider, mimi nimeshikilia tu mashida😭. Yaani hio day nilikua nimesota ata singeafford kupay attention, lakini morio wangu amekafunga angenilipia ata vacation, soft life ambassador huyo, nikajiambia Mgeni njoo mwenyeji alewe!!

Backseat alikua accompanied by two blokes, mmoja amekonda ungedhani ametoka Konde Gang, huyo mwingine alikua mBIGGIE kama Christopher Wallace. Mbele alikua na dem fulani ameoga ajab, nashuku alimtoa wasafi. Wacha Delilah, yule angepata Samson angemnyoa ata makwapa.

I could tell huyo alikua manzi yake, couple goals kama combi ya Halaand na Mbappe, wote wamedunga campus toughees, AKA Airforce 1's, yaani hawakua just soulmates,walikua pia solemates.Mimi hapo kando na jeans imefade kama tent ya kanisa, jeans imekula taabu kama comrades wa Moi😭

Maxie na entourage yake wakaamua hawaezi keti kwa hizo filthy seats za containers, so wakasema tukunywe kwa gari. Gari ni safi kuliko kitanda yangu, kuingia ingenibidi nitoe viatu bana, viatu nazo ningetoa wangedhani sewage imetoboka😂, ikabidi tu nisimame kando 😂.

Mzinga tatu za wiliam lawson's zikaletwa, tena zimefuatwa na sprite litre mbili na orchid valley guava juice, mambo ya uzunguni haya, chaser ni expensive kushinda pombe mi hukunywa. Hio day cabron anakunywa drink safi mpaka maini inashtuka😂

Two hours later zimeanza kuarrest. Morio wangu Maxie zake zimeshika mpaka anadai kuwasha majani illega hazarani, nikamshow ata kama umekunywa lawson's lazima ufuate Law Son, mi naogopa kamiti kama kamuti. Pombe ikifikanga hii level unajuanga tu katanuka anytime😂

Maxie akasema tufike kwa kuku za karai, ni kama alikua anataka kula kuku pate stamina ya kula ngoko baadae...ama? nyinyi ndio wangwana. Cabron amezoea tu kula shingo za mbao, hio day nilikua nacheza na drumsticks na chest, jamaa niko naye ni mwarabu bana, pesa anayo😂.

Hapo tu tukinyanyasa kuku, jamaa fulani akakam kula kuku pia. Jamaa mfupi kama nyundo ya judge, lakini hakua mlevi. Out of nowhere, manzi ya Maxie akadai huyo jamaa amemgusa ngongingo, personally I did not see it happen. As expected, Maxie akaamua to stand up for his lady.

Coolkid na rusungu mingi akauliza huyo mans, "why you disrespecting ma lady bruv?" or whatever he asked. Jamaa akamshow ye hajafanya any, na yeye hakua anadai ngori. Pombe nayo saa ingine inakuanga na upuzi, Maxie damu imechemka anataka tu vita.😂

Huyo jamaa akaelewa tulikua tu walevi so akaopt kujitoa. Maxie ni nani, akamfuata akaanza kumbully. Kidogo kidogo Maxie amekunja ngumi, huyo mans akamshow ye hadai vita, anamtupia jamaa anazihepa tu. Tunajaribu kushika Maxie lakini hashikiki, amekua kama zile bull za kakamega.

Ikafika place huyo mans akaona imezidi, jamaa aliwai Maxie ngumi jamo akashuka kama bei ya maembe january, nashuku huyo mans ni wa Gotta City. Maxie alikua anadhani Lawson's imemfanya drunken master, kumbe ilikua imemfanya softened pasta😂, weak ni understatement.

Ata kama hakupigwa ngumi mob, Maxie alijipata anamake out na sakafu kama mop. Ngumi moja swift kushinda left hook ya prime mike Tyson. Coolkid mwenzake mkonde kujaribu kumtetea yeye pia akapewa yake jamo akajikunja kidogo atoshee kwa tumbler😂.

Huyo mans vile alinigeukia, nilijipata nimegeuka Mbappe, pace 96, mguu niponye. Yule coolkid mBIGGIE naye alikua ananimatch stride for stride kama Alphonso Davies, jamaa anapiga sharp bends kama bikes za motor GP. Hio time yote Maxie bado ako kwa sakafu 😂 .

It was hard to believe jamaa mmoja mfupi ametoa mbogi teke hio design😂.Huyo jamaa kuona Maxie hasongi akajitoa kwa scene, hio time ndio tulirudi. Manzi ya Maxie bado anajaribu kumfufua. In about 3 minutes jamaa akarudisha fahamu although design uso ilikua imefura hungemfahamu😭

Mi hua sipendi vita, haina haja niharibu dental formula eti juu ya ulevi. Mimi ukipigwa tukiwa na wewe usijaribu kujifanya ata unanijua😂.The only way naweza kusaidia ni post match anaysis, tuone umekosea wapi and how can we prevent it from hapening again😂

Kitu pekee naogopa kushinda vita ni uji inajifanya imepoa, hio nayo ni hatari ❌.

Guys you can help me get a job by simply retweeting this👇 tweet. Ifungue then retweet, thanks.

https://twitter.com/tonnie_wa_juja/status/1364494383148654592?s=19

Good day maniacs✌.