Wow wow did you ever consider that I have no choice but to have the duck art that I inherited from my grandma WHO DIED A DEATH
You should be GRATEFUL you even have a world with ducks. We do not have ducks anymore. Wow.
Here’s the thing, did you ever consider just walking over and TALKING to the ducks like they MATTER?? That’s how I met my duck husband and my biracial duck babies deserve better than you.
Wow wow I expect better from a writer. Ducks are nature’s narrative arc and that you don’t even respect that says a lot about you.
And they call you a PROFESSOR. I feel sorry for your students. @UNC do you know your professors out here BIASED AGAINST DUCKS
Hey you look like you hate ducks but take a picture of your shelf so I can be sure
This is really distasteful, how you mock ducks. When your duck dies, you will regret it.
Wow I noticed how that Doctor couldn’t be bothered to entertain your unprocessed grief about ducks or even ACKNOWLEDGE your biracial duck babies who are the future, I truly believe, so anyway I just want to keep this tagged thread alive by chatting about all of this
You know I used to be glib about ducks but then I matured and stopped eating gluten and now I just feel so much empathy for people like you who haven’t elevated beyond ducks to even consider owls as the superior discourse
Hi, I have never mentioned ducks at all or even follow you but I feel like these duck tweets are about something I did to offend you so I have DM’d you and started a duck reparations consciousness raising campaign and want to name it after you could you please email me back

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More from @tressiemcphd

15 Mar
I’m gonna shoot this Silk Sonic album into my veins and I do not even care
I GOT FILETS is when I lose it
Read 4 tweets
13 Mar
Because nothing is perfect, my older neighbors start banging in the side yard by my bedroom at 8:30 in the morning because old people hate sleep, hate brunch, and hate me.
I deliberately chose a street without families because bless y’all but I don’t need those shenanigans. I did not, however, think through the elderly’s penchant for living all of life before 9 am.
Guess I will leave a passive aggressive comment on Facebook, if I understand suburban warfare correctly.
Read 7 tweets
11 Mar
I did the math recently on my very pricey move this year. By the time I bought everything the movers broke and damaged I could have broken even by donating all my goods and starting fresh in the new house. It is the worst.
They broke or very visibly damaged my:

Bed frame
Headboard
Footboard
Chest of drawers
Bookcases
Grill
Sideboard
Lamps
Dishes
Baseboards (moving it in)
And the one thing with a note that said, “if you break this I kill your car”? My coffee maker.

Broke it.
Read 4 tweets
5 Mar
I have a few vaccine side effects. I would characterize two of them as level two and one as level one. I mostly went about business today but I am a woman. I can see how this might fell men. 😉
It actually feels like a moderate amount of PMS discomfort but nowhere near severe cramps or contractions. Fever, chills, nausea.
I have a horrible attitude though. Skipped working out. Not interested in food AT ALL and going back to bed as soon as the #?!% sun stops shining.
Read 4 tweets
4 Mar
“I am contacting you because you don’t have a public facing email on the website!”

Now ask yourself if you think that’s a mistake...
If a Very Online Person doesn’t have an easy to find email, what do you think that means for this whole transaction?
It is ALWAYS a man.
Read 4 tweets
4 Mar
Before and After. #vaccinated
All these tweets are now safe.

Not that I ever gave it serious second thought but even if this vaccine poisons us all, being poisoned along with everyone else greatly increase odds (and profitability) of treatments being created.
So get stuck already, just as soon as you can.
Read 4 tweets

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