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Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
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15 Mar, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I’m gonna shoot this Silk Sonic album into my veins and I do not even care
I GOT FILETS is when I lose it
“You’re gonna need protein” is, as we might say, a flex.

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More from @tressiemcphd

Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
13 Mar
Wow wow did you ever consider that I have no choice but to have the duck art that I inherited from my grandma WHO DIED A DEATH
You should be GRATEFUL you even have a world with ducks. We do not have ducks anymore. Wow.
Here’s the thing, did you ever consider just walking over and TALKING to the ducks like they MATTER?? That’s how I met my duck husband and my biracial duck babies deserve better than you.
Read 10 tweets
Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
13 Mar
Because nothing is perfect, my older neighbors start banging in the side yard by my bedroom at 8:30 in the morning because old people hate sleep, hate brunch, and hate me.
I deliberately chose a street without families because bless y’all but I don’t need those shenanigans. I did not, however, think through the elderly’s penchant for living all of life before 9 am.
Guess I will leave a passive aggressive comment on Facebook, if I understand suburban warfare correctly.
Read 7 tweets
Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
11 Mar
I did the math recently on my very pricey move this year. By the time I bought everything the movers broke and damaged I could have broken even by donating all my goods and starting fresh in the new house. It is the worst.
They broke or very visibly damaged my:

Bed frame
Headboard
Footboard
Chest of drawers
Bookcases
Grill
Sideboard
Lamps
Dishes
Baseboards (moving it in)
And the one thing with a note that said, “if you break this I kill your car”? My coffee maker.

Broke it.
Read 4 tweets
Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
5 Mar
I have a few vaccine side effects. I would characterize two of them as level two and one as level one. I mostly went about business today but I am a woman. I can see how this might fell men. 😉
It actually feels like a moderate amount of PMS discomfort but nowhere near severe cramps or contractions. Fever, chills, nausea.
I have a horrible attitude though. Skipped working out. Not interested in food AT ALL and going back to bed as soon as the #?!% sun stops shining.
Read 4 tweets
Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
4 Mar
“I am contacting you because you don’t have a public facing email on the website!”

Now ask yourself if you think that’s a mistake...
If a Very Online Person doesn’t have an easy to find email, what do you think that means for this whole transaction?
It is ALWAYS a man.
Read 4 tweets
Tressie McMillan Cottom Profile picture
4 Mar
Before and After. #vaccinated
All these tweets are now safe.

Not that I ever gave it serious second thought but even if this vaccine poisons us all, being poisoned along with everyone else greatly increase odds (and profitability) of treatments being created.
So get stuck already, just as soon as you can.
Read 4 tweets

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