Thread by @pastorclarkson

1. My journey in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka began in 2006. I arrived school with my stove, Ghana-must-go bag filled with foodstuff, my Echolac box and what have you. As I left home all the neighbours cheered me on!

"Chibuuuu go well o" some said.
#Thread #depression

2. I started attending lectures, running from NSLT to Jimbaz to Carver building and then to GS Building. It was fun. I was beginning to make new friends, by this time Akintola/Akpabio hall was still male hostel so I often passed the night there, or sometimes at Mbanefo hall.

3. It was a whole new world.

Then, one thing led to another and I lost that admission. I tried everything but to no avail. It finally dawned on me I was going to write jamb again when I saw my friends writing the first semester exams and I couldn't. I cried!

4. How do I go back home with all this load I came with and tell everyone it didn't work out again? How?
No way! I started squatting up and down. I finally rented a house in town opposite peace park, and there I prepared for the next jamb wrote it and passed.

5. I applied for UNN and miraculously got in!

The journey started all over, I kept pushing and then came 2011 when I was to graduate and everything scattered.

6. One thing led to another year, then another extra year, then another extra year, each day was filled with tears, fear, diminishing hopes, disappointments, all my world was crashing in, it went on and on until I realized I was still trying to graduate at 2016...

7. 10years of my life had been poured into this thing called B.Sc.

8. You see this thing called #depression? It's real but not 'realer' than faith in God and his word. I was down to the barest. Some of my friends left. I had breakfast, launch and dinner with depression and failure. I could tell you the smell of their cologne.

9. we slept on the same bed, but me, take my life? No way!

See, I'm not really talking to everyone who's facing depressing moments, no, I'm talking to those whose depression have largely resulted from a failed academic pursuit.

10. While I kept trying to fix myself, I saw many suicide cases on campus and I never stopped wondering why the thoughts never crossed my mind. I felt I had every reason to end it, but no I kept hearing words like;

11. "There is hope for a tree, even if it is cut down at the scent of water it shall sprout again"

12. Oh my! Those words were popular in fellowship, so they stuck. At the scent of water!

I know this might sound a bit religious, but let me not bore you. Beyond all of this I figured some practical ways to get ahead.

13. Every time I spoke to or encouraged someone there was this sense of fulfillment that rushed all over me. So I realized that one thing I must do was to develop a sense of fulfillment in other things asides from academics and that will give me the energy to push my studies.

14. So once in a while, I would organize trainings on campus and share things with people, as I did, I felt more alive. There was energy again. I even organized a film show.

15. It was at this time I started pushing my business mindset, why? I was trying to create fulfillment. And this is something you must do. Once you loose your sense of joy or fulfillment it's only a matter of time before you do something nasty.

16. So, to my friends on this journey don't just tie your fulfillment to academic pursuits. Figure something out, create fulfillment.

18. I remember it was in the middle of this mess that I wrote a proposal to all the NYSC secretariats in the five eastern states to come train corps members in camp.

19. It seemed like a Joke, but I did it, I did my letter head, ID card for my company, printed complimentary cards, enveloped the proposal, wore my suit and went to all the states in a space of two days submitting proposals in person.

20. When I was done I came back to my base. One week nobody called me. So I forgot it! One day I woke up to a text message from Imo NYSC secretariat to come facilitate trainings on camp. Oh boy! See me o. Me that don't have B. SC.

21. I didn't even have a CGPA, and I'm now going to train graduates.

22. I laughed and cried at the same time, it was a big deal for me. I called and confirmed the text. That week I hit Owerri. I saw some of my juniors in camp, and they were like how far, but hey I'm here now!

23. I spoke to over 2000 students who kept addressing me by my company name, only if they knew what I was dealing with.

24. Even now as you read this I'm still trying to deal with the ripple effects of those supposed wasted years, sometimes I feel like I'm behind schedule, but hey, this is life and we must deal with it. You must get tough.

24. Even now as you read this I'm still trying to deal with the ripple effects of those supposed wasted years, sometimes I feel like I'm behind schedule, but hey, this is life and we must deal with it. You must get tough.

25. See my friends, I took this time to let you know you can go through it! I'm just one example in a million others

26. Keep faith alive. If you must drop out, drop out of school, but don't drop out of life. There is so much more that you can be that you haven't yet realized. You have power over #depression. Yes you do! Tell him I said so.

27.

Kindly RETWEET
I am Clarkson Ikwunze
I Overcame
#depression #SuicidePrevention #MentalHealthMatters #suicide