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Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
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19 Mar, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I would go further, claiming powerlessness over porn addiction SOLIDIFIES their power.
I wish we wouldn't talk about men having porn/sex addictions, instead talk about porn "habits." Habits are a choice, can be nurtured and changed, can be hard to break sometimes, but habits are a much more morally neutral way to talk about "the porn problem."
So much of sex/porn addiction is constructed out of religious control, maybe there really are true sex addicts out there, but so many exvangelical men could tell you they thought they were sex addicts when they just had a libido. And liked porn.
I think if we took porn addiction out of our public lexicon, it would be much easier to have good conversations about sexual desire, consent, fantasy/real life, context, boundaries, pleasure and mutuality.

And ethical porn.

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More from @cindywangbrandt

Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
18 Mar
Many of my podcast guests tell me I ask really excellent questions. #humblebrag Maybe it's just like courtesy small talk but it happens often enough I'll try to believe it.
I've always been a question asker. As a third culture kid, I often asked questions that are not appropriate because I had to navigate multiple cultures. Many out-of-context questions.

Of course, I also asked too many questions of my religious establishment. 🙄
The kinds of questions I ask on my podcast is for the most part completely inappropriate in everyday living.

The most basic one: Tell me your story.

Most people are simply not trained or ready to answer that Q off the cuff.
Read 4 tweets
Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
18 Mar
Parents of white kids, if your kids exhibit white fragility? That's GOOD.

Hear me out.
White fragility occurs when white people are upset when they become aware of racism. Often, white people respond to cope with that discomfort by dismissing, diminishing, denying that painful reality. This, of course, perpetuates racism and the cycle continues.
When white kids become aware that they are privileged to not experience racism but their peers have a different life experience, it's shocking and upsetting. If they respond with fragility, it means they are confronting this issue.
Read 6 tweets
Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
20 Aug 20
I grew up in a missionary community, glorification of suffering was a real big theme. Many of my missionary friends chose very hard lives for themselves (& their families) for religious purposes.

Suffering, of course, is very human, but glorifying it is toxic to humanity.
Life is up and down, sometimes we are suffering, other times we experience joy and happiness and pleasure. Elevating suffering makes it impossible to experience this range.

The glorification of suffering is a narrative--in the evangelical brand it's in order to glorify God. It's to experience the redemption and rescue of God. It's to be a witness.

The result is every time humans suffer (often and constant) it gets turned into a "testimony"
Read 11 tweets
Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
13 Aug 20
Excuse me I'm going to do a tweet thread on how to recover from purity culture in evangelicalism without talking about sex at all, wish me luck.

These are 5 ways I believe you have to reframe your brain/body to set you up for sex positivity:
1. Boundaries. We DID NOT LEARN HOW TO DRAW BOUNDARIES THIS IS A HARD LESSON FOR US EX EVANGELICALS DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HOW HARD IT IS.

Learn what you like and don't like.
Communicating it.
Expecting it to be respected.
2. Pleasure. I'll just RT myself here. Practice. Practice. Practice. Take the guilt out of pleasure, please note managing your anxiety will be key to this.

Read 8 tweets
Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
29 May 20
Someone told my parenting group that their 13 year old nephew asked, "Is it wrong that I'm thankful I'm white?"

This is uncomfortable to hear but I was very encouraged. Here's why:
This white teen is empathizing with black pain, he sees color, he sees the inequality and injustice. He knows his white privilege.

What's important is what comes next.
Moving from guilt to anti racist action is the key step white people need to take, over and over again. So it's time to help this 13 year old take it so he can have this skill for the long fight against racial inequality.
Read 5 tweets
Cindy Wang Brandt Profile picture
19 Apr 20
I get the impulse to say Christians behaving poorly as not "true" or "real" Christians.

It's reprehensible to do bad things in the name of a benevolent God.

But it's not very helpful.
Like the folks who want to MAGA, it begs the question, when was America ever great?

When have Christians EVER behaved like "true" Christians?
The first followers of Jesus clamored for power. It didn't take all but a few generations before followers of Jesus literally established an empire.

Christians not acting Jesus-y has always been a thing.
Read 11 tweets

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