Thread by @JenLRossman

I'm going to start season two of the Mandalorian, or as I call it RELUCTANT SPACE DAD
#JenLiveTweetsMovies

Here's season one, if you want to catch up

https://twitter.com/JenLRossman/status/1358954378204491785

EPISODE ONE… is like an hour long so I'm probably not going to watch all of it tonight

It is rated PG 14 for "Intense violence"
That's my favorite kind of violence!

And once again, I must say BABY OOOOO TINY BABY UP TO 3 KG when I see baby Yoda

Oh, I keep forgetting Mando has no idea how to take care of a child. He's brought baby Yoda to some sort of axe wielding fight.
no, sweetie. Babies like Sesame Street live. Not gladiator fights to the death. Sesame Street.

😱 so this guy in the audience is betting on weather one of the fighters is going to die. And then he just shoots him. And like. That's one way to win a bet I guess

OK so now we have finally established, beskar it's not the armor itself but the metal it's made of

Baby Yoda just noped out and closed his antigravity baby carrier😆

I have already forgotten the Mandalorian's real name and what his face looks like so I'm going to continue to call him the Mandalorian, and I'm going to continue to imagine Nick Miller from New Girl being under the helmet and you can't stop me

Tatooine! Home of the muskox you can ride!

It’s Space Amy Sedaris! My favorite Star Wars character!

I know he's trying not to get attached, but how has he not named baby Yoda yet. He's worse than the guy from that song about going to the desert and not naming the horse.

They are both trying to find more of their own kind 😭 it's a literary parallel and I'm crying😭

His ears go flap flap and I love it

This town does not trust him and I love it because I am anticipating CONFLICT

How are they going to drink with helmets on. Are there Bendy straws in space!

Oh. The Marshall is just a dude in mandalorian cosplay

Wait. Is that the husband from Santa Clarita Diet? But in space! Oh I'm very excited

They're drinking blue Gatorade

Do you know in westerns when the music goes “wah WAH wah... doodleoodleoo"? That's what's happening in my head right now

I love the bouncy Space aardvarks!

Now it's tremors BUT IN SPACE

The Marshall explaining how he became the Marshall:

Oh no there's so many of the scary things.

THEY ARE PUPPIES

This is like the Star Wars version of the goat from Jurassic Park

😱 it ate the person instead of the muskox!

And yes I know what they are called, but every time I try to say a Star Wars word my phone does not understand

🌈 reluctant cooperation🌈

Why didn't we leave the baby with Space Amy Sedaris?

WAKING UP A DRAGON

😱 dragon vomit

Well this plan has gone horribly to shit

And no one is watching the baby yet again

Maybe the muskox doesn't want to go boom, Mando!

And in a shocking twist, it was not tremors, it was jaws! He should have said smile you son of a bitch

Is that an egg? Was it a mommy?

WHO'S THAT GUY
I DON'T TRUST HIM

And so ends episode one

Tatooine probably never developed sundials

Oh yeah by the way, EPISODE TWO

IT'S A TRAP!
(I made a Star Wars reference because I'm hilarious and very clever)

That baby needs a proper car seat

Baby Yoda running to him like "Pick me up daddy" 😭

OK I'm pretty sure that alien is just Sweetums from the Muppets

Space Amy Sedaris is the mandalorians mom in this found family

I love the frog lady!

Oh no😱 baby Yoda EATS FROGS

She’s a mommy you guys😭and she needs to go find her husband and ask him for sperm to make the eggs not die 😭😭 the oldest love story😭😭😭😭

He eat a egg 😱

I did not know space police could pull over spaceships

They are running his space license plate and space registration

I would like this to become Smokey and the Bandit but in space.

Oh! And Sally Field was even called Frog in that! I just remembered that and now I am amused!

How did we not secure the eggs better? Oh right. Mando probably did it.

IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO EAT THE EGGS, KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. God. It's not that hard.

Because she's carrying around her babies in a little thing, I am imagining the frog lady as Helena from orphan black with her little science babies

Also I'm pretty sure she counted how many babies she has

😱 she's so smart she does a science!

HE'S TEACHING HIS SON HOW TO FIX THE CAR 😭😭😭😭 I CANNOT

Or at least he's trying to😆

Mando, it's cold out. He needs a hat.

The Mandalorian in every episode:

Yes I am fully committed to my "I am pretending Nick Miller is the Mandalorian" joke and will be using gifs of him in these live tweets whenever possible. It amuses me more than you will ever know

You better get that child away from the Hot Springs before he goes bobbing for apples

Baby Yoda is like well screw you, I'm gonna go bother whatever this dangerous thing is!

Stop licking the environment!

Great, now he's eating… wet spiders? Crabs? I don't know

Oh shit, giant mama spider

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ENJOYABLE

Great they got in the ship. Now you just have to burn down the ship and start over

Frog lady shoots a gun! This is the best show ever except the spiders

Hey it's those guys from earlier! Yeah, guys from earlier!

They might have saved our heroes from the spider, but even in space, ACAB

I like that this show acknowledges the existence of bathrooms in the Star Wars universe.

It is not that hard to keep your child from eating eggs.
And that concludes episode two

Episode three! That planet looks like Alderaan but I'm very sure it isn't unless they went back in time

[Whispers] man… deLorean

The best part of this show is the reaction shots of baby Yoda anytime anything happens

SHE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HER HUSBAND 😭

There's a lady in a cloak and I'm gay so I love her already but I also do not trust her

The soup is alive😱 Space is weird

Boats! Like spaceships for two dimensions!

No! What the fuck is this boat asshole doing! I hate him and so I am swearing!

Throwing my baby Yoda into a wet sarlaac pit and trying to drown Mando all for this precious armor?

Aw yeah the blue Power Rangers showed up

The Mandalorian right now:

Mandalorian? More like womandalorian

It's sad that those three Mandalorians all lost this episode of the masked singer and had to take their helmets off

MANDO. We really need to have a talk. You can't just leave the baby with the family of the eggs he keeps eating. It's not polite

BABY TADPOLE it's so cute I love Star Wars

The Mandalorian outfit kind of looks like the Ant-man suit

I am not extremely sure what's going on right now

I like the leader of the blue Power Ranger Mandalorians.

The Mandalorian currently:

Gus fring but in space gives zero shit about anyone working for him on this plane

Blue Power Rangers know way more then they are telling us

It is really not a great idea to introduce your babies to baby Yoda right now, Nice frog people

Get the child a seatbelt for gods sake's

The end of episode three

Beginning episode four!

Are we really trusting the baby to listen to instructions about fixing the spaceship? He wouldn't even listen to you when you kept telling him not to commit frog infanticide

He's Learning his colors 😭

Mandalorian thinking about his decision to let baby Yoda do engineering:

I don't know about you, but I think the addition of nick Miller reaction gifs is making this show so much more enjoyable for me 😆

Who are these people and why do they want to eat the adorable space weasel

My problematic space girlfriend has returned!

Oh my God and now she has a shoulder weasel!

Wait. Pretty space lady. You forgot your shoulder weasel.

What is with all the blue in this season. First blue Gatorade, then the blue Power Rangers, now Cara has blue trim on her outfit.

Is it symbolically supposed to represent that planet with the blue shrimps where Mando should've kissed the widow?

A school!!!! And I love how much grandpa Greef likes being a grandpa to baby yoda

Mando has separation anxiety

Just give him your blue macaroon, rude child

They're gonna blow up the mako reactor! I have decided this is final fantasy VII now

The blue dude is even named mythril or something that sounds like it. Final fantasy seven.

It's raining storm troopers, hallelujah, it's raining storm troopers

One of the stormtroopers just said "Must have blown a transformer" and I know that's a perfectly normal phrase but the image that came to my mind involved Optimus Prime and. Yeeeah.

Mythrol. my precious criminal fishy baby

They have 10 minutes. The exact amount of time you have when you’re blowing up the first mako reactor in Final fantasy viii

Look, I'm tired and I'm looking for connections that very likely do not exist. Just let me believe the color blue is important and this episode was based on Final fantasy seven

Yeah that doesn't look at all like that tank they had Jenova in

OH THAT DOESN'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE PROFESSOR HOJO
That's sarcasm by the way

I mean it's entirely possible someone involved in this show accidentally borrowed plot points and imagery from final fantasy seven.
It's much more likely I’m finding connections where connections do not exist

😱 they were using baby Yoda to… make more Jedis, I think?

Lava. The team rocket of geology

And this is like in Final fantasy seven when the bad guys are chasing you on motorcycles and most of your people are in a truck

Just eatin’ his lil space macaroons while daddy shoots bad guys

Oh do we have a fucking seatbelt finally!?

Her shoulder weasel has returned! And she is reluctantly feeding it! Reluctant space weasel mom!

That guy is named blue and I'm pretending that’s significant to my "what's with all the blue stuff" theory

That is a very ominous ending for episode four! Gus Fring but in space has evil plans.

Season two, episode five!

I have no idea what's going on, probably because I always click skip recap, it's very exciting though

This scene appears to take place in the aftermath of the Tunguska event

I think I have another space girlfriend. She’s so pretty and I like her hair? Head tentacles? I don't know what they are but they are blue and white swirled and she kind of looks like she's from Star Wars Candyland

The Mandalorian is kind of a himbo.

I can't even really explain why, I just know it to be the truth.

Please give this child toys. Maybe one of those little toy steering wheel so he can pretend he's driving and he’ll leave that probably important knob alone

You're not even gonna close the door of your space ship?

If everyone wants your armor so bad, maybe like… wear a poncho over it so less people try to kill you for it

People on this planet do not want to speak to him.

So they just got prisoners standing up surrounded by shocky things that I’m intrigued

OK so I was gonna make a joke when they went to the gate like "no one gets in to see the wizard" but now the magistrate wants him to go do a murder so I’m Pretty Sure this is exactly like the Wizard of Oz

Why would you bring the baby on a hit. That is not responsible parenting

Wait he was sent to kill my new space girlfriend!? I'm conflicted

Ahsoka is staring at the baby and the Mandalorian is just like

Except without the winking. I mean he might be winking, we can't tell with the mask, but I highly doubt it

His name is grogu! I don't really like that but I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to change it because it's a TV show that's already been made and I have absolutely zero involvement in

I'm pretty sure he can lift a rock, lady. He lifted a whole Space rhino

He wants the gearshift!

The Mandalorian playing catch with his son:

Do you think baby Yoda has a tail? I feel like he has a tiny little one

Morgan Elsbeth is the most normal earth name in all of Star Wars. She sounds like she runs the PTA

Wait! My new beautiful space girlfriend is the lady from that movie with the runaway train!

Ohhh shit they’ve got a SCHEME I'm so excited

Very prominent brick road. Yellow filter over everything. Wizard of Oz. 😂

I'm calling it now, they kill the magistrate by throwing her in water just like the witch in the Wizard of Oz

I'm kidding, but also I had to say it in case it actually happens

Sword fight!!!!

She's so pretty, I wish she had shoulder weasels

Why does he only have the one little outfit. Why can't we dress him up like a little sailor sometimes

OK so because spoilers, I'm pretty sure I know how this particular quest is going to end. There aren't many Jedi left, after all

And that's the end of episode five. I think they should have taken Ahsoka with them

EPISODE SIX
As a reminder, this season I am using gifs of Nick Miller from New Girl to represent the Mandalorian

The Mandalorian is just saying his name to get his attention like I do with every cat I've ever met

HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE A GOOD SPACE DAD😭

If this season ends with the Mandalorian cry-yelling at baby yoda to make him go and be with his own kind like Harry and the Hendersons, you all better spoil that right now because I need to be prepared to cry about that😂

"Magic rock", "Jedi stuff". He's clearly the kind of dad who wanted his kid to go into sports but now he's trying very hard to pretend he cares about dungeons and dragons

I just love when his ears go flappity flappity

It's like Stonehenge made of pride rocks

The Mandalorian about the seeing stone:

Ooooh Jedi stuff

This is a very tense standoff and I do not appreciate it! I just want to watch the reluctant space dad and his magical 50-year-old toddler have adventures

I do not remember enough about the fetts to fully understand if anything they’re saying is important

Baby Yoda: DAD, I'M ON THE PHONE leave me alone

Why does that storm trooper have an orange shoulder thing. Does he have tendinitis. It looks like he has tendinitis.

Oh wait. THAT’S boba fett? Yeah, still doesn't mean much to me. I just know clones and such.

Yesss big rock!

Teamwork!

😱 they blew up the serenity! (I keep forgetting the name of the ship, so I've just been calling it the serenity in my head)

What are dark troopers. I do not like this, Gus fring but in space

😱They take the bebe

😭😭😭😭he found the lil ball. I hate this show. It gives me feelings I don't want to have

The Mandalorian right now under the helmet:

[Whispers] space girlfriend

Where is your shoulder weasel?

Mando is going to be so proud of his son, beating up storm troopers like that

Poor baby, so tired, needs snuggles

That is the end of episode six, and I would just like to wish Gus fring but in space a very fuck you.

EPISODE SEVEN
When last we left the reluctant space dad, he was sad but he was getting the band back together. And Gus Fring but in space is an asshole.

Oh great. Bill burr but in space. Look at my enthusiasm 😐

My problematic space girlfriend has left her shoulder weasel at home, I see.

Wait. Was Boba and/or Jango Fett a Mandalorian all along. Did we know that already. Are Mandalorians some thing we already knew about before this show and I just didn't remember because there are 70,000 other made up words in every Star Wars movie and I missed that one.

My phone keeps trying to auto correct to Boba Fettuccini and I think that's important for the world to know about

I am really not entirely sure what they're talking about right now and I'm OK with that because I'm pretty sure this is just the writers justifying whatever complications they’re adding to this mission

The Mandalorian's plan to disguise his face, I hope:

Bill burr but in space can stop talking at any time now

No. You do not get say the bad guys aren’t bad because of perspective. They are the bad guys. We can prove this because of all the other movies.

Mando every time bill burr but in space starts talking:

Much boom, many splosion

The gun 😂 ran out of blasts😂

Is it because it would be weird if he accurately shot people while dressed as a stormtrooper and people would be suspicious?

The Mandalorian driving into the place:

It looks like the sanctuary from the walking dead

Maybe put your helmet back on, bill burr but in space

Look. There's one and a half episodes left, if I haven't learned his name by now, I am not going to

HE TOOK OFF THE HELMET FOR THE KID😭😭😭😭 excuse me, I must cry forever

Oh no. The bad guy’s asking him for his TK number, and now that he's not wearing his helmet we can see all the clueless panic because he does not have a TK number, and I'm pretty sure he's about to say 867-5309 or something

Bill burr but in space saved the day so I am reluctantly hating him a tiny bit less. Very tiny bit

This bad guy is wearing what can only be described as a pack of blue and red nicotine gum as a lapel pin

Great, now they have to go on a date with the bad guy

It's a very tense bad guy date!

Bill burr but in space needs to have this discussion at another time!

Bill Burr but in space shot first!

Yes! Girls! Being helpful!

I would like Cara and Fennec to be girlfriends who go on adventures

My space girlfriend is so nice, faking his death like that ❤️

😭😭 Mando saying "He means more to me than you will ever know" in his hologram message to Los Pollos Hermanos headquarters but in space 😭😭

And that concludes episode seven. Join me tomorrow for the season finale, when I will probably cry

EPISODE EIGHT
Yes I already checked and there is a season three coming

Scientist is a clone engineer. Did he make Bob Fettuccine?

(I have given up fighting my phone and auto correct. His name is Bob Fettuccine)

(I actually do know a lot about Star Wars, but the prequels kind of didn’t stick in my head because ADHD and because they weren’t as good so I don’t remember much about the clones and everything)

Yes, sweetie, shoot the asshole man! I support you in this decision!

The Mandalorian looking at Cara. I assume. He's wearing a mask

Oh hey, it's the blue Power Rangers again

Droids. Why did it have to be droids

May I suggest part of this plan involve taking off his helmet? No one would recognize him

Ooh that’s clever. I didn't really understand what she was talking about when she explained the plan, but it's clever

Not exactly what I call a smooth landing

This is like when tony stark had all of his suits come fight with him BUT EVIL AND IN SPACE

So many things are going pew pew and I love it

TEAMWORK! And you can't spell teamwork without Ewok Tram!

Oh no the evil doors are opening😱

😭 he hates droids😭 this is his worst nightmare😭 BUT HE'S DOING IT FOR THE BABY😭

This gif isn’t very relevant to the current situation but I'm not sure the Mandalorian is going to encounter another droid that goes beep beep beep and I’ve been waiting to use it

Pretty girls with guns! Saving babies! In space!

BABY!!!!😭

Oh shut up and go start a chicken restaurant, Gus fring but in space

I knew it!

Dammit, Mando! never spare someone's life! They'll just escape and be evil again!

Oh for fucks sakes. Just play backgammon and let her win so she can have the blacklight stick

Oh no. The evil Iron Man suits are back

Oh shit oh shit. GUS FRING BUT IN SPACE HAS FOUND A GUN.

This cannot possibly end well

Can I just say, knowing (or at least being very sure because spoilers) who is in that X-Wing, the fact that our heroes scraped their ship getting in and he didn’t? Almost like he's good at aiming for small openings in bad guy bases? Very awesome detail

!!!! I know who that is and I'm excited anyway!

Oh no! One of the blue Power Rangers! I still don't know so many names!

How is his hood staying up. If I'm wearing a hood and I blink too hard, it falls off

Baby Yoda is like "Dad, my ride’s here”

Mando looking at LUKE FREAKING SKYWALKER after he just Jedi’d the crap out of all those droids really gonna ask him if he's a Jedi

😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭 he's taking off the helmet😭😭😭😭 I did not sign up for this, I just wanted to watch Space battles and a cute little alien, no one would tell me I would have FEELINGS

R2-D2!

Omg they’re becoming friends 😭

Reluctant space dad reluctantly sending kid to live with step dad 😭

The Mandalorian and me right now:

There is an after credit sequence😱

That scene meant nothing to me! But I will Google it all tomorrow for context!

Oh I enjoyed this show immensely. I hope you all will join me whenever season three of RELUCTANT SPACE DAD comes out