Thread by @sophiaahmed

Was discussing office spaces in Pakistan back when I joined working.

There was a lecherous group of young men who made all women trainees feel uncomfortable.

We never complained

They were about 10/12 at most, sitting in one corner of the audit room but would make each one of us uncomfortable.

They would pass crude jokes, look you over, sleazy glances & laugh in a way that you knew it was locker room talk.

We all took it in. We never once complained.

That was 1997 to 2001 for me. The day my trainee contract ended I never stayed a day more.

We were training to lead finance teams & these men older than most us, would behave in such a way, it was unbelievable much alike how boys stood outside girls colleges.

I was in the top tier audit firm of Pakistan, where it was considered a privilege to be awarded a trainee contract.

But there was no HR dept looking specifically at this aspect of work culture. Trainees were not employees.

What stood out was an utter disregard of employees satisfaction through creating a safe environment for everyone. From women's toilets to behaviour of colleagues it was atrocious.

Today some of these men lead business houses or finance heads in major companies around the world.

I often wonder what work ethic & values they promote in their work spaces now.

Are they able to buy in to the corporate value chain that enforces a certain code of conduct?

Or for them these are merely HR eye washes they should largely disregard.

I understand locker room talk happens but considering we were professionals isn't that something that companies should stop.

This was not a college. As trainees we stepped into client offices, mostly MNCs & a certain professional behaviour is expected.

What does it take to build that sensitivity in men? Why do they act with such crude ness?

Bro talk, how you look at a woman, how you talk about colleagues can really mean nothing to you, but for the women it can be a confidence builder or breaker.

Is it an extension of how men see women being treated at home? Disrespect? Not given agency?

The friend pointed out that her supervisor (from the group) would often put his chair close to her, borderline touching her hand or clothes.

All these acts would be harassment at work place but none of us were ever told as we were trainees not employees. I'm not sure it was

Even included in HR manuals back in the day.

Again, how many working women are willing to take the step today in Pakistan or elsewhere

Where the burden of proof always falls against you

How do we neutralise this hyper sexuality in young Pakistani men?

Is it the culture of segregation? Patriarchy yes but what breeds this hyper masculinity in them.

Always looking at women's bodies, commenting on bus stands, outside colleges. At concerts. At offices.

It must be a certain knowledge that gives them confidence that they can carry on with impunity. The system that tells them from the cradle that a Male child is superior to better toys, access to better education, a more respectful & responsible seat at the table.

Here I was talking about the most coveted audit firm of Pakistan but this sexism, harassment & crass behaviour is everywhere. As part of audit teams we received these looks at banks, insurance companies, mncs, modarabas.

Our defensive tools
Bigger chaddar

I was privileged in the sense I never had to use public transport to commute to work, but each woman colleague complained about the harassment in buses & stops.

Imagine the added mental stress of trying to be safe every day on top of other work pressures.

A senior once in the office, took a sip of my tea & smiled his lecherous smile.

We were sitting at the Manager's desk getting the file reviewed. The managers' room has 9/10 managers & senior managers but no one said anything.

There were snickers ofcourse, of some toxic male achievement he unlocked.

Today he is a happily married man in London working in a prestigious organisation, a British citizen.

I often wonder if complaints against these men would have lead to change in career progression

I've come to understanding that complaining is imp. It relieves you of the burden of natural guilt you put yourself through. You are the victim, you never encouraged anyone, you are not to blame.

If nothing the other person might get a note from HR put in his personnel file

Why I think this tweet is so important for my thread.

You need question culture. He didn't say it out of respect.

https://twitter.com/laaleen/status/1373635853596164096?s=19

Retweet if a colleague has ever passed a filthy comment about you or other women & created an uncomfortable environment

Like if you were stared by a colleague

Do men think it builds them up to say filthy things about a woman? Discuss her anatomy in a lewd physical way?

Do other men look up to this vulgar talk?

What drives these men to objectify women colleagues?