Thread by @JimZub

I want to pitch a new #DnD comic series called REAL DUNGEONS & DRAGONS-

Issue #1: Five completely disparate characters with elaborate back stories that are never referenced again.

The party takes 17 pages to leave the town they start in.

TPK from a random encounter.

Issue #2: 5 new characters arrive. They are all twins of the characters killed in issue 1.

An encounter with an unimportant NPC gets the party 100% focused on a non-existant plotline.

A bad Athletics check kills two party members.

The others find a cache of gold and retire.

Issue #3: 5 new characters arrive. One is the plucky daughter of a previous party member. The others are all from Unearthed Arcana.

Ambushed by villains from the original quest, the heroes have no idea what they're supposed to do.

They're swiftly captured
An actual cliffhanger!

Issue #4: Two of the party members mysteriously vanish when their players are unable to make it to the game.

The plucky daughter swears fealty to the bad guy faction to escape imprisonment.

The other two die in a brawl with a giant rat.

Issue #5: Decades have passed.

Five new characters are introduced with elaborate back stories that are never referenced again.

The plucky daughter is now the big bad.

It doesn't matter. The party still won't leave the starting town.

The official Dungeons & Dragons comic series, not quite as chaotic as the above but I promise it's quite entertaining as well, is available wherever fine books are sold...