Through the years, people have asked me what they should say as “comebacks” to verbal microaggressions. I usually tell them to respond with something like “What do you mean by that?” as a way of getting the person to reflect on whatever it was they just said. #AcademicChatter
Recently, a friend asked what to tell people as alternatives to microaggressions. I liked this question better bc it takes responsibility away from target (typically of marginalized group) & encourages enactor (typically of privileged group) to reflect on/ change their behavior.
Hope you find these helpful & that you reflect on things you say or do to others. If you think to yourself “This might be offensive or hurtful”, it probably is, OR you might want to steer clear of it, if you’re not ready for a challenging conversation or acknowledge your biases.
Please feel free to share with your relatives before you potentially see them for potential holiday gatherings this weekend and beyond.
And don’t forget to wear a mask, even if you’re already vaccinated.
A journalist friend informed me that a major national mental health organization provided a list of “Psychologists available to discuss Anti-Asian Racism and Violence”. It included many people who have mentored me or have been invaluable to @AAPAonline & #AsianAmericanPsychology.
Two weeks ago, I contacted the organization to let them know that I was concerned that their list included 9 East Asian Americans and 1 Filipina American and that it was not inclusive of the many South Asian and Southeast Asian American psychologists who are doing amazing work.
With the attack of Vilma Kari (65yo Filipina American in NYC), I am reminded of a different attack in NYC. Kitty Genovese was a 28yo White woman who was raped & killed in Queens in 1964. 38 people allegedly heard her scream, but didn’t do anything to intervene or stop the murder.
It’s easy to shame people who don’t do anything in crises. But the truth is that most people don’t do anything to intervene, and there are lots of reasons why. We must prepare ourselves and decide what kind of bystander we want to be, before we are ever put into these positions.
And perhaps all of us should aim to all be UPSTANDERS who actively fight for justice.
Food for thought: A common way people perpetuate anti-Blackness is when they post pictures of suspected criminals, especially after they’d been arrested. If the suspect no longer needs to be identified, sharing images only contributes to harmful stereotypes about Black people.
One image then becomes the public representation of all Black people. It feeds the bias that makes people clench their purses or cross streets when Black people approach. It feeds similar stereotypes used to demonize George Floyd & Trayvon Martin & Michael Brown & Eric Garner.
A similar thing happens when people post about suspected terrorists who are Muslim. With Islamophobic media portrayals after 9/11, hates crimes & discrimination of Muslim (& even Sikh) people increased significantly-as did treatment of all Muslim people as criminals/terrorists.
Most people know about the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882. But did you know about the Page Act of 1875? It was the first federal law to restrict immigration in general, and it specifically targeted Asian women who were believed to be entering the US for prostitution or polygamy.
“Chinese women were seen as a threat to the institution of marriage, and a danger to white males (even stigmatized as being unclean and giving white male children as young as 12 syphillis).” reproductiveaccess.org/2017/03/womens…
“By identifying and excluding Chinese women as prostitutes, the law prevented the birth of Chinese American children and stunted the growth of Chinese American communities.” jstor.org/stable/4099477…
If history teaches us anything, it is that these violent acts will NOT be charged as a hate crime. Legally, hate crimes need overt evidence of bias (a dossier of writings/audio) in order to be charged as such. For example, Orlando Pulse was not considered an anti-LGBTQ hate crime
Even though the perpetrator traveled 100+ miles and chose a LGBTQ club in advance and killed 49 people who were mostly queer/Latinx/Puerto Rican, there was not any “evidence” that the Orlando Pulse Massacre was a driven by hate.
Also, if history teaches us anything, these violent acts will not be charged as domestic terrorism- which are random acts of violence motivated by political beliefs. So while racism and white supremacy certainly seem political, they’re never charged as terrorist acts. Wonder why?
Random thought: When I’m reading a bio about a historical figure who had an amazing career & changed the world & then I read they “never married or had children”, my first thought is whether they were queer, and if so, if they were happy & got to live some of their truth.
One of the paradoxes about queer history is that most of it isn’t documented because it was not safe for queer/trans people to be their authentic selves. And unlike other history that can usually be uncovered via archives, LGBTQ folks are experts at concealing their identities.
And because of lack of documented LGBTQ history, naysayers don’t believe queer and trans people have been here since the dawn of time- though there are traces of us since Ancient Egypt, Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, and precolonized Thailand, Philippines, India, & North America.