What is a Sociopath? Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD): Part 4. This thread is a response from an anonymous person with ASPD to an original thread (Parts 1,2,3 below). The person is sharing his lived experience to help raise some awareness and break stigma with ASPD: 1/20
The person previously shared that his partner and he use a ‘card system’ for high risk situations, such as social ones, to prevent it turning into a disaster. Several asked if he could share the card system and what advice he has for how to deal with someone like him. 2/20
Important: This thread is NOT psychological advice from myself as a Psychologist. However, I will advise, that for any emergency call: 000. For Mental Health or Suicide Crisis Support call Lifeline: 131114. 3/20
As an Academic this thread is simply for educational purposes only. Many, including this person, said they have never heard ASPD discussed publicly before the original thread. The responses were overwhelming positive. People enjoyed learning learning. It helped break stigma. 4/20
Finally, not every person with ASPD will have the same presentation of symptoms: thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Every person is different so this content will not apply to every person with ASPD. Okay, now I’ve covered that we can focus on his responses: 5/20
Message: “The card system is stolen straight from soccer. We don't use physical cards but rather she will just say it to me and in different situations they mean slightly different things that we discuss beforehand if we think it is going to be relevant. 6/20
The basis is yellow card if I'm being overbearing, aggressive or making people uncomfortable. It lets me know to quiet down and/or calm down whatever is happening. 7/20
Red is an exit. Sometimes that means I excuse myself and go to different group of people in a social setting or might mean leaving an event/situation and heading home. 8/20
But it can also be a warning for me. I don't respond well to aggression, threats or bullying and that sometimes ends up escalating to violence. So sometimes she will card me as a way to let me know "avoid this person because they are likely to feed into your aggression". 9/20
Other times it is purely emotional. I broke my hand a few years ago and when I was in the ED being treated I was getting impatient and started pacing. 10/20
The yellow card lets me know that while I may not be intending to appear threatening my body language/actions are putting out negative connotations. 11/20
They also represent good markers. They tell me to pay extra attention in that moment rather than going by instinct. It makes it easier to discuss afterward if something hasn't gone right. 12/20
As for advice on how to deal with someone like me..... That is hard, people like me have a different set of tools so I don't know how to advise a civilian? The best I can think of: 13/20
1. You need 'power'. This can be achieved by making sure there is always a third party during interactions so you have a witness/the predator can't exert same amount of pressure. 14/20
2. Don't respond emotionally, ever. We suck at with empathy but most have a great sense of fear/discomfort.
3. Do not trust them and don't tell them things, they will find a way to use it. 15/20
3. Do not trust them and don't tell them things, they will find a way to use it. 15/20
4. Indifference really is the best tool I can think of, blend in and hope not to draw the attention?
It is difficult because I would fight fire with fire, it is just how I'm wired. 16/20
It is difficult because I would fight fire with fire, it is just how I'm wired. 16/20
Document things, actually. That'd be the most important thing so they can't manipulate words/events because we're quite good at that. 17/20
Saying this next part still makes me feel uncomfortable but it is still how I see it.
Some people are built to be predators, the best way to deal with them is with another predator. 18/20
Some people are built to be predators, the best way to deal with them is with another predator. 18/20
If they don't want to change, they won't and they are likely to be incredibly damaging towards anyone that tries to force them to change.” 19/20
Source: Anonymous man with ASPD. This thread is NOT psychological advice from myself as a Psychologist. As an Academic it is educational to help raise awareness about ASPD. For any emergency call: 000. For mental health or suicide crisis support call Lifeline: 131114. 20/20
*This thread is one of several. If you didn’t read them all you could misinterpret some. As they say, a little bit of knowledge is danger. Important: ‘Sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ do not exist as diagnoses. They are terms to describe ASPD. The threads use the terms with ASPD..1/2
as they are more commonly known than ASPD. It is always more appropriate to use the term ASPD. Secondly, not every person with ASPD presents the same. Nor is every person with ASPD necessarily dangerous. Finally, treatment options are available. With some successful results. 2/2
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