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Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

1 Apr

It’s entirely possible to construct inclusive, funny April Fools pranks that everyone can enjoy.

Let me tell you about my favourite one.

At my old workplace there were a lot of computers and they were all exactly the same. Same model, same keyboard and mouse, same software on all of them, and most importantly, the same desktop picture: MacOS’ default mountains image.

The sameness was company-mandated. And since the computers were all communal, this made sense. I might have favoured one of the computers and always used it, but it was never going to be Aaron’s Computer.

Read 8 tweets

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

23 Jun 20

I’ve started a new evening ritual: I leave all my technology inside except my Walkman, and I get into the hammock in the back yard and listen to an album from start to finish.

My cat has been curious about this new habit, and I’ve been trying to coax him into the hammock —

Tonight was some Rolling Stones — I’ve never really given them a fair shake, so I’m working through the Stones in Mono box set — and like clockwork, my big grey lump of a cat shows up. I make some space and start patting the hammock and asking him to jump up —

And to my delight, he decides to climb into the hammock! Except not in a very cat-like way. Huh.

At this point I should let you know that my backyard is very dark and I don’t see well.

Read 13 tweets

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

28 Mar 20

I started playing Animal Crossing and WHAT THE FUCK, YOU START THIS GAME IN DEBT TO FUCKING RACCOONS??

So the raccoon sends me to get tree branches but the motherfucker neglects to warn be about the wasps? WHAT THE FUCK, these raccoons are evil

Bastard capitalist raccoon taught me to make a campfire so I’m collecting wood and surrounding his goddamn house with fires

Read 13 tweets

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

26 Jan 20

hey you guys ask me tomorrow morning about that time I got high and texted a lot of people

if I ask when that was it’s right now

Last night I was a guest at a dinner series where they talk to artists and eat amazing, cannabis-infused meals. I am a total lightweight, and also I tend to become incomprehensible — though I think I’m making total sense — but the meal was after the interview, so no problem.

I started sending updates to the group chat where Nick, Ryan, Joe and myself sort out Effin’ Birds business — shipping stuff, customer service stuff, web stuff — because I had the good sense to not be tweeting.

Read 12 tweets

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

28 Apr 19

https://twitter.com/Rawnzilla/status/1122514835999211520

Near my high school girlfriend’s house there was this path. It went from her street to the nearest bus stop. It was shaded by trees and a really pleasant walk. But whenever it rained, it was covered in snails.

A horrifying thread.

https://twitter.com/Rawnzilla/status/1122514835999211520

I was leaving her place one night. It was dark, and it had just rained. And when I got to the path, the lights that normally lit it were out.

I figured, whatever. I’ve been down this path dozens of times. It’s a straight line. I’ll be fine in the dark. And this was the middle of the nineties, I definitely didn’t have a smart phone with a light on it in my pocket.

Read 21 tweets

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

31 Mar 19

I have done a terrible, terrible thing because I am a terrible person.

In my final year of high school, I had an English teacher whose feedback I found tremendously useful. I enjoyed his class, and I got a lot out of it.

But he hated my writing.

I have always written in the way that I speak, kind of circular and lacking in formality. It was not his cup of tea. He’d get frustrated with my essays because he would like the ideas and dislike the execution.

In a not unkind way, he told me that he didn’t think that any kind of career involving writing was in my future.

I wasn’t hurt by it, I respected his opinion, and I took my C+ in his class.

Read 11 tweets

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