I started playing Animal Crossing and WHAT THE FUCK, YOU START THIS GAME IN DEBT TO FUCKING RACCOONS??
So the raccoon sends me to get tree branches but the motherfucker neglects to warn be about the wasps? WHAT THE FUCK, these raccoons are evil
Bastard capitalist raccoon taught me to make a campfire so I’m collecting wood and surrounding his goddamn house with fires
The little raccoon fucker just ran up to me in the woods to warn me about the bees.
LOOK AT MY FACE, RACCOON, MY EYES ARE SWOLEN SHUT
LOOK AT MY FACE, RACCOON, MY EYES ARE SWOLEN SHUT
Swear to god this son of a bitch raccoon just offered so sell me medicine to heal the bee stings I got while collecting wood that he said I had to get for him because I owe him money
I am mystified by the bells to miles exchange rate
It’s my ten year old’s island, so it’s called Coolest Island
The raccoons told me my neighbour knows how to make the medicine I need but my neighbour is a crocodile who only wants to talk about his fucking workout routine
JESUS FUCK THESE RACCOONS ARE FUCKING LOAN SHARKS 
Alright, who here is brave enough to invite me to their Animal Crossing island
If you need me on your island — trust me, you don’t — I’m SW-5851-5933-9301
Holy Christ I built a home in Animal Crossing and there is a goddamn home owners association telling me what’s wrong with my house
Meanwhile in Animal Crossing, I dug dozens of holes around my 10 year old’s house.
“Dad, did you dig a bunch of holes?”
“I haven’t unlocked the shovel yet.”
“WEIRD.”
I will dig more holes tonight when he’s asleep.
“Dad, did you dig a bunch of holes?”
“I haven’t unlocked the shovel yet.”
“WEIRD.”
I will dig more holes tonight when he’s asleep.
