same - i like people messaging me, i like writing back, but my energy to do so is very sporadic. i’m also super forgetful & i get a lot of DMs and i can lose track so i’m really never upset by people DMing again to remind me. i need reminders for everything in life, DMs included
only time i will purposefully not write you back if we are people who generally get along (i don’t write back to shitty people being shitty lol) is if you take me not writing you back quickly enough personally and get upset at me. i can’t handle that at all.
i know lots of people have RSD but i am not the one who traumatized that into you so you may not take it out on me. people taking things i do personally and getting mad at me is the source of much of the trauma of my life so it’s a big boundary for me.
it’s not even necessarily punitive or that i’m mad at you bc i know nobody chooses to have RSD but if someone is going to regularly get their feelings hurt by me just being me, we can’t be friends. it’s not a good idea for either party. it’s traumatic for me, as well.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Erika Heidewald, Proud Autistic Bitch

Erika Heidewald, Proud Autistic Bitch Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @erikaheidewald

8 Apr
i just started reading this book called Asperger’s Children that’s a history of Hans Asperger and all his Nazi shit and this description of how one of the kids did math stood out to me because this is how i do math. i have dyscalculia but i’m good at mental math this way ImageImage
is there a name for this? is this common for autistic people? i struggled with math until i figured out how to do it my own way and i’ve been really surprised as an adult to find out that i’m better at math than most people are but it’s bc i do it like this. what’s the deal here
are autistic people having to discover for ourselves how to do math? does anyone teach this to autistic kids? why doesn’t everyone do it this way - is it harder for allistics this way? i need math nerd input please
Read 6 tweets
8 Apr
bro i have been dissociating all day and straight up NOT having a good time and i started being mean to ableists online and i feel so much better. my brain fog has lifted for the first time all fucking day
i don’t know how to explain this but my brain literally cannot function if i don’t say what i think. if i try to be polite to people who don’t deserve it, if i stay quiet when people are shitty, it breaks my motherfucking brain. i dissociate, have panic attacks, & meltdowns
the thousands of incessant tiny misogynistic and ableist swipes people make at me online fuck with my brain subconsciously even when consciously i’m not upset about them. it interferes with my ability to think and my ability to think is the thing that makes me feel like myself
Read 16 tweets
8 Apr
i follow an AFAB adult on tiktok who got diagnosed autistic and then had it revoked because they contacted her mom - who she told them is abusive and she is estranged from - and her mom said “nope she was a regular kid!” this just happened like a month ago #AutismAcceptanceMonth
like yes that request is all kinds of discriminatory and fucked up. but when has being discriminatory and fucked up ever stopped the autism industry?
i understand how important medical diagnosis is for a lot of people, i really do. if you need accommodations, your options are limited. and i do not like to shit on people’s hopes. but i hear so many traumatizing horror stories about autism diagnosis. keep your hopes low.
Read 5 tweets
8 Apr
this is me, and there’s a good reason for it - when i’m in an emergency situation, such as being injured, my brain goes into problem-solving mode. feelings are not useful so in that moment, i don’t have any. my brain is using all its power to assess the situation and fix it.
i only figured out the other day why i hate it when people try to comfort me when i get injured, so much so that it will make me angry - having people come at me with concerned voices and hands trying to touch me is literally the most overstimulating thing you can do to me.
when i broke my wrist in gymnastics in high school i immediately stood up and ran away. i ran around the track until i was able to come back and calmly tell them i needed to go to the hospital. i never understood why i react like this until i considered the cognitive processing
Read 13 tweets
7 Apr
gatekeeping marginalized identities has resulted in people feeling like they HAVE TO be cis, be straight, be neurotypical when they are not, because they’re not different ENOUGH and that identity is for the REAL marginalized people.

this is just cisheteronormativity & ableism!!!
this is so bonkers! conservatives were never able to convince me i had to be cishet but feminists did because they used my empathy & justice sensitivity to manipulate me into thinking that was my moral imperative. i didn’t have a right to my own experience bc it wasn’t bad enough
the people who have been outraged at me self-identifying as autistic haven’t been the conservative autism moms, they don’t know i exist. it’s been “progressive” people who say i am somehow harming the real autistics. they call me a fake- i must be NT. compulsory neurotypicality.
Read 15 tweets
7 Apr
I just realized why I dress the way I do, and why I couldn’t explain how me dressing in “girl” clothes doesn’t mean identifying with femininity inside. to me it feels like drag. i have fun pretending to be a girl. i can also enjoy small talk because pretending to be normal is fun
I really connected to that scene in Paris Is Burning - they also dress up like suburban dads and I completely got exactly why that is fun, and why that’s a fantasy.
At home hanging out I wear sweatpants and sweatshirts, I don’t do my hair, I barely remember I have it. So when I get ready because I’m leaving the house or filming a video, I put my girl suit on, and I enjoy it because it’s all self-expression and fantasy. fantasy is expression
Read 12 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!